Derek seguin


Derek seguin
all right I'll play see I'm so happy to be here you have no idea I got divorce for a year ago not really divorced it's when material I can be safe to say that I would say divorce but I think to get divorce you need to file paperwork or get a lawyer shit like that I'm not really a paperwork kind of guy I'm more of a change the lock on the house cotton guy it's more huh but I'm also keeping quiet I travel all over Canada so I'm uncomfortable with the word separate so I always just say divorce just sees it that way so four year ago I break up with my wife so freedom right know who I'm an idiot I got a girlfriend right away and this thing I think she checked me she's from Newfoundland Newfoundland you know them they're drinky-drinky and they trick people we have this one date which was nice first new date entertained there I was like all excited I'm like oh my god you're so pretty so nice and they're very casual to the new fun hander so at that moment I was like oh man I want to see you again I'm not good I'm leaving on tour tomorrow for three weeks but maybe I could call you when I get back and then my hand like you sound like such a douchebag say something cool so I'm like unless if you want no big whoop but whatever I could fly you out to Calgary we could hang out there you know no big whoop like I've got a fucking jet park in the backyard or something but I never I was just saying it to be cool I never expected to be able to do it right over dinner she explained that she run their own company and she have a dog she probably have some plant she can't just fuck away the next day right but she's from Newfoundland everybody in their free spirit cuz she was like yeah bye huh believe me fuck it we'll put the dog down let's do this sounds like oh shit but now I'm just stressful but cuz I got to Calgary on Wednesday she's gonna come meet me on Friday I have to day to just reflect on how shitty I became while I was married that's why I only wear black t-shirt now everybody I got fat I got this huge fatness on the front of my body while I was married and then I got umbilical hernia on top of it just to make it like tree the ugly I got weird fast I've got I've got the second ass now growing on the smack on my back it's like my back saw my old ass and said oh my god that thing's gonna fall off we better go I'm a backup ass so now the day's come I have to go get her at the airport I'm stressed about everybody I'm freaking out and I'm like okay I got a shower before I shower have to shit right cuz you never shower dead shit that's stupid I don't those little cartoon bears in the Charmin commercial or fucking liars you always end up with those little white volleyball things I don't want that don't worry I got it done I broke a blood vessel in my eye but I got it done wet so now we're back at the hotel room and I'm fuckin nervous and I think she felt it so I'm like let's just have a drink I'm like Angela would you like a glass of white wine because about white wine that's what you ordered at dinner I'm thoughtful and I pay attention to your likes and wants and then I was like I got some Alexander Keats cuz you're from the east coast so is it and I got some Coors Light here cuz you're a little bit chubby what would you like probably said that one in my head then I turn around and she's gone I was like I'll fuck she saw my back ass but no wasn't that turnout she's from really east cuz Jesus like a blowjob ninja shoes already on the ground my jeans disappeared a puff of smoke and have like stars flying around so I'm about to get a blowjob she just said let's get this out of the way now like what I was married for 13 the era I like it happens right married men we get blowjobs when we're married happens we have birthdays but I discovered quick that they teach a different blow job technique in Montreal than they do Newfoundland my ex-wife used to start blowjobs like did you have a nice birthday I got that cake from Martha Stewart recipe he's good right yeah hey did you pick up the milk there was always a little chat before the blowjob start but I never complain right that does a mouth and it's from my cock it's not time to open the complaint department you know yes sure got the milk it's all good so that's what I was expecting this time thirteen year of training that's the blowjob so I just look at the room like so how was your flight no they teach a different technique in Newfoundland the Newfoundland grow job started like this it's a I didn't even have time to get hard she's like garbling my dick for the first 30 second and then I should get harder I'm like okay did you get your Topsail taken out well then at full pay no like I see did you slip a disk huh cuz she never back off to the point mascara and deer coming the other cheek and now she starts to do that for me I mean I need air here take a handjob for a second she was like fuck air I hate haha if that was socially acceptable at the time I would have said that too but I'm crazy she's choking at this point but still had the courtesy to stick out her tongue and graze my balls a little bit I was just like like a nice touch Newfoundland that's very thoughtful she took out her mouth off my dick one time just to go like this I'll leave it open what I don't even know what this isn't yeah okay that's pretty good idea I like how you take and then the other hand is doing like a Chinese stress ball technique with my ballsack that both my nipples got pinched and I got a foot massage I think I got a fucking haircut I'm getting a blowjob from a new Fiat Kapusta shit happening all over so let's say two minutes go by all right okay okay I'm gonna come cuz again married man no you got to give the tapping the heads-up otherwise birthday or no birthday say goodbye to blow jobs forever oh just the it thing and fraternity in there at the top and I'm gonna come as always followed by okay okay thanks happy birthday but I can never complain but Newfoundland was a different finishing moves to because I was like okay I'm gonna come and she was like huh and then shoot out her nose yeah she hung hey I think I gave her one of these to get up like uh-huh and she back away and let's just say she was prettier when I pick her up at the airport but this is how she tricked me cuz she just gave me the good best blowjob fuck since they invent the penis that was the greatest blowjob since the invention of the penis and she just look at me and say oh my god Derek thank you ass like wow you welcome I thought she stole my soul so she had to be my girlfriend listen Martha Xuan on our air plays a mess boo cupola

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