Stand-up comedy concert film about modern America by comedian Paul Mooney.
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Let me see if I go down some of these credits and we'll be here for two days If I do a mall SC, of course, he was writer for the great Richard Pryor Saturday Night Live Also, he wrote for and Fox and Sanford & Son good times, which way is up bustin loose Hollywood shuffles He plays Sam Cooke in the Buddy Holly story. He also wrote the foxes in living color created the character homey the clown okay, let's move on over to Chappelle's Show Today The Godfather comedy Paul Mooney hanging out with his new you've been here before so you knows how it goes Performing What time and whether your particular look at today we get are you sure Of course The Godfather of comedy for sure for sure Paul Mooney welcome So this is gonna be as a story man. Hey y'all My name is Chucky Jenkins and we own the red carpet at the Paul Mooney Godfather comedy potato Godfather comedy, man I mean that's that's that's the man behind a lot of the geniuses. Come on Why not go and study, you know one of the greats man, we got the Kings of Comedy But we need it. We better watch The Godfather Paul Mooney man, he's definitely the greatest. He's a legend and comedy He's a legend. I mean and I just came down to show my support Definitely a blessing and a pleasure to be here and be a part of this event man. Paul Mooney is big I love having him on the radio show and and I support him 110 percent So tell us what brought you up to the pond Mooney show me. Oh, yeah I've always been a fan of Paul Miller. I think he's hilarious We were driving by and we saw hey phone is gonna be here. We said we're gonna have a little date tonight I'm honored to be here to see this brother do his thing and throw it out. He's a master and I just love it Ladies and gentlemen show you along give it up for the Godfather of coming Show us your big man. Yeah. Yeah, cause you don't know one gotta hit big enough to wear it like mine I'm not just giving that to you. So you keep that up be worth something. I'm serious Thought had been they haven't seen them all done. It'll be will something hold on to it. I Want to get right to it because White folks y'all have what crazy? Do you believe the things that white people coming out of whitey to his mouth it's like this exorcism like they're possessed Sand wild shit Is it BEC what's the white man's name at the White House He doesn't want us to have Martin Luther King you go on Martin Luther King, but you here We didn't we didn't own Abraham Lincoln. We know you didn't know him cause he was black we owned it We know our own people It's why they put him on that pin it didn't think it was worth a goddamn The Indian said it best you cannot hide your blood from your people Don't don't want us to have nothing we don't try to take nothing white folks. We don't try to take nothing you listen Why do they try to take our stuff? We don't try to take nothing. We didn't try to take Elvis We didn't try to take Joan of art We didn't try to take helmet Roy. We don't mess what they shit. We do not fuck with this shit We do we fuck with this you come on be real. We don't try to take this shit They always tried to take our shit and recycle it and say it's theirs American Idol it's so English is so brilliant American Idol American Idol is the Apollo with white judges. Keep this shit real But always trying to take our stuff ain't that a trip we just loved us some Tina Turner remember they took Milana Richie, we loved him. They took him They take us shit good. I ain't bullshittin if I'm lying. Correct me They took James Brown. Oh they gave him back They took all day they gave him back Anything we like they tank remember the cookie man, they took them goddamn cookies Nimma essence white folks on it see the Apollo white folks on it Be et. Almost black television white folks on it All we got left is jet And I'm worried about them They take out some white folks I'm just being open but you don't look crazy I'm being open I'm the best black friend. You could have I'm telling you the goddamn to stop take it out shit We have something They don't want us. I have a headache Take these aspirin. Okay. I have no goddamn headache I'm just bringing it real I'm bringing put it on the table and how come white folks you got explain this to me How come what's on us is ugly, but when it's on you is cute Look at your black look is black on the beautiful big fool yours too full black lips look full On you yo your bang gay, bitch On the white lady ethnic the look full sexy Ain't that deep look at your black skin beautiful black skin on you black thing on? The white lady your tan is gorgeous Your corn rolls on you you little pickaninny On Bo Derek @n Take this shit some shit giant making it up ugly on us and cute on them Your big full your banger, but your big African an old big ol laugh bet but do you bang a bitch? Like girl sexy for that a bitch What have we been killed on the freeway and white folks come by. I'll take those lips This a damn shame is sub damn shame we got to fight back we've got to fight back We've got to stick with our shit we gotta stick with our beauty they can't tell us what's pretty we know what pretty is Everybody then went crazy they'd taken all our books to jail. They'd taken them all to jail And I'll say to you black people. They've been in jail or going to jail. Don't be shamed. Don't be shame That's what they took Jesus they took him straight to jail that's when they took Martin Luther King they took him straight to jail Malcolm X. They took him you got good company you get in jail be proud This lien Jesus Taking everything from us I'm telling y'all black folks we got to get back We got to pray because they taking everything, you know prayer strong. We got to pray Breaking shit lose a little skinny white girl with big lips. She live with Brad Pitt Angelina salt that bitch is getting ready to play salt and pepper I'm Kay make it up there just picked her to play Cleopatra She is the third white woman first, it was Claudette Colbert then it was Elizabeth Taylor and now it's it's her The third white woman WIPO. She'll be shaming yourself Chuck telling that lie clear past was black. She was black a sister She was black as Cicely Tyson. She was black Clear patch of five she was black Egyptian. That's an Africa. That's not some small village in Sweden But daddy was nubian and you keep telling that Greek lie, oh she was half weak. That's a lie She married a Greek for power. She killed him. She never even fucked She was a bad black bitch bad and arrogant the daddy was Nubian and proud She only screwed two men Caesar and Mark Anthony is she screwed anybody else? We would have known because it had been talking about it. She was black God a tall black bitch left him, you know, they talk She went to Egypt her entrance into Rome that goal all that shit The my folks are still talking about it today. She wore them out and she was arrogant Ceaser sheriff's children by Caesar She seduced him and Mark Anthony Caesar tried to give her a gift and she wouldn't accept it NASA when a bitch won't accept her gift. That's a bad bitch She said a gift What could you possibly give me? I am the queen of Egypt that Egypt has not already given me not as some bad shit You can't give her a gift goddamn But they want a white woman to play But I got one better than that I'm getting ready to drive y'all crazy I got one better than that Who's this white woman? They say she's the greatest actress ever to set on an American stage Meryl somebody what's her name Meryl see guess who she getting ready to play Harriet Tubman I can't wait for the reveals. I can't wait the white reviews She was absolutely brilliant The makeup was phenomenal Some of my best friends a black I Felt as if she was my best friend When she freed the first slaves I got naked in the pantheon I See you laughing cuz you know, I'm bullshitting you but that Hollywood so goddamn crazy it might be true I saw an old rerun of Bonanza horse Ordered a meal on a broad a Mela brought Chinese, of course And when she got there guess who she was? Marlo Thomas, I can't make it. Oh shit like that Hey, what's that little big lip white accents got big lips she was in some GUI that I hated it cuz I the movie was so offensive The Blind Side. Oh I was so offended by that movie. I went there. I thought it was a Stevie Wonder story it missed me Eyes to hate it then I start liking her when I found out she hit that little black, baby She had a pack, baby she hit it on the white world and then she hid it from my husband when a white woman could hide a black baby from My husband that's a hard bitch I said when they get ready to repossess my Cadillac I'm gonna let that bitch shot it they won't find it Cuz she can hide some shit That's a sneaky white bitch Sandra what you doing with that extra piece of chicken nothing Sandra Sandra you can't eat those 12 lemons Guess who she getting ready to play? Guess who she's getting ready to play? That black woman that had invented the hot/cold what something Madame Wacha A little black baby. No co-star Here's the call mama mama pinnacle It's hot baby it's hot blow on it I'm telling you these white folks do with crazy My generation I see it's a bunch of you, you know, we go way back It's a bunch of it our generation back in the day We could have been signed with Motown We were some singing folks like me who we love the same Ain't gonna let nobody turn me round Turn me round Keep on walking keep on the talking. You remember come on y'all talking about freedom now Motown we shall overcome We shove over with some singing and passive you slap us would turn the other cheek You put your dogs on us it Was scared that we were scared to go to jail. He was scared to die, but we could sing And white folks loved us cuz we sang And said anything to us we sang and anybody that loved us they hate it That's why they hate Obama so much cuz we we got Kunta Kinte up in that motherfucker Don't have Toby and that's the problem Goes around comes around I Love it. I love every minute of it. I love my black person. I love him. I Love my black president. I love my black president that can walk like up I Love my black president that can play basketball. I love my black president. They can G kill his ass off I like my black president can wear them sunglasses? Got that black life with that Vicki of Benguet black ass and then pretty ass black kids I love my black president. He's perfect for Mary Karr Perfect. He got them big white man. Is he looks like Malcolm X He talks like Martin Luther King Oprah loves him and he shit's apple pie I don't know where you guys were when he won but I was in Harlem. That's where I live with the white folks and We went crazy We ran up down them streets all night Obama beat your mama Obama bija mama Obama beat your mama, I would stone crazy I went to the first public bus and I told them white folks get in the back. Where you fucking belong And I went to the first soul food restaurant cuz I knew the price of chicken was going way down I said give me a hundred wings, but it said bitch Obama You better give my black president not black president do no wrong with me he'd been in there year He'd been Aunt Jemima in goddamn Anka been Cleaning up this shit. This is bullshit. We should bring the troops home Bush should bring him home. He sent him Just blaming him for every goddamn thing every move daddy got class he got dignity. He's smart I couldn't I'm serious If I was in that White House the way they talked about him, but that was me I walk out on that lawn at the White House early one morning. I pulled my parents I'll take a old-fashioned country shit shit right on the line Put this on YouTube But all the news the president took a dump this morning the dog went crazy Hitler he can say I'm a woman I'm running for president that whore in Alaska could say I'm running for vice president Obama can't say he black cuz if he does it starts trouble This blackness will get him in trouble. He says it by association He can't go and talk to Farrakhan I go doesn't he buy associate bushka talks? Whoever you want to talk his white didn't put his whiteness protects him. He's still the President Bush. He still got that white skin He's got that color He got the complexion for the protection of the collection Look at that little access a little crazy drug addict little white girl with the big lips. They let they let out What's-her-name lens it let ha out. The jails are overcrowded Look at this young black girl. Your little black ass wouldn't be getting out. Oh We're overcrowded oh really tie that black bitch to a tree she ain't going nowhere Ain't no room make some room. The storage place is $19.99 a month locked that bitch of within the rooms. Oh This buildup bring it to my house. I got a double garage. I got one car their nickname that bitch Cadillac butter in there You ain't going nowhere ain't no room to cook then make the bitch cook she gonna work save on Black bitch gonna cook nothing. It's gonna be right here Time to let the what the drug addict the lyin ass drug addict Oh, somebody stole my password you lying bitch This she'd have told the truth. I snorted my passport. No not I believe Make more since She went to school with my daughter. She went to school my daughter Lindsey Did you know she was an honor student? Did you know that? Yes your honor no your honor If that have been little Kim cheated went straight to jail the first goddamn day little Kim lied Perjury what the white people say, what'd the judge say? Don't lie to us black bitch. You're going to jail That was that was the message like bitch don't lie to us two years What's the man is in the OJ trial was marked Carmen. He was a policeman. He perjure eyes. He should have got five years Would he get a book deal and fame that? skin complexion for the protection for the collection I've known Jason C was 80 I knew oj when he had his black wife I knew when the little black child drowned all that I met the cold when she was 18 cute hair down the ass fine but a drug addict and a hoe Keep it real and OJ was taking care all of them. Okay That shit was about drugs and sex. That's what that was fucking about. Okay, that's for real That's what it was about a bunch of folks went to jail and a boaster folks got killed that night. They didn't tell you about Trust me and Mark Fuhrman from this is just my opinion. Mike. Herman was fucking I'm sure Drug addict hole. Okay. And what's the little white boy? That's got them a mistake with those have brought glasses. I still talk about his family wants to sue and Goldman Rob, yeah, but no goddamn glasses probably brought some goddamn. It was about drugs and So, you know, she made him suck that pussy. You know that When they went and when they got up there in heaven it was up in heaven both of them They know what she told her. You know, I Told you this juice would kill you Mene mene, but funny And you black people Stop getting this Chris Brown bullshit. Twist it and this is not a joke. Stop getting it twisted That girl beat the shit out that boy She damn near killed him. He's lucky to be alive Them girls from the islands. They're cute, but they violent and they're jealous To be – shut up that boy. She almost killed him That's why that boy better he was scared Bite when you're scared, Mike Tyson scared he bit Somebody whoopin your ass you'll bite that's what you do in his head Like this mother, huh? Your bike when you're scared, you don't beat no woman's ass that's after kill beat up and then animal bite, you know Your bike when you're getting That's when you bite when you scared The girl dab there killed that boy Lucky to be alive. He's lucky to be here They lucky she didn't use that umbrella, you know that bitch got a umbrella He'd be singing with Stevie Wonder nasty to put his eyes out She tried to kill him. She called the girlfriend up. She called me on me up She called her get all the in the almond bring his pale phone. We woman some ass tonight. Hurry up. It's a party Hurry up, baby Let me see, I'm busy I can't come I'm busy I'm whooping the sofas ass. I can't copy So, I'm busy I kick up I'm busy shining up my Blood Diamond She damn near killed him Listen to a new song listen to a lyrics listen to it. She tells on herself I had everything Till I had to beat yo ass Listen to his lyrics he tells he tells the boy got brain damage listen to him He thinks he's a transformer And she slipped she sleep and the white books loves them little Adam girls a Light-skinned cute and they had that Eartha Kitt shit going there Maxine what they took the two They love But there's some shrewd bitches, she's got a big big forehead you see the fire She was far head beaten it Don't leave scars Miss a damn shame black folks stop getting to confuse That girl got in the ring with Muhammad Ali's daughter she beat her ass Now let's talk about the embarrassment The embarrassment Taga would Embarrassing he has embarrassed a black man on the planet He has no game No pimp game no street game. No black man game. He is such a little punk this a crybaby Man up man up Such a little white boy The fuck up out of here with that bullshit topical Asian, do you know what it is now? The Asian hurry-up came back to us His daddy must be turning over in his grave His daddy was black his daddy married a black woman for he meant that Filipino woman Tyga We've got black brothers and sisters. Don't even talk about keep this shit real Man up you See the press-conference Family and friends and he's only black thing standing there Marisa A little huh? You sound like a little sing it at all. I'm sorry. Brenda least I like it all bit so sorry No little sissy all them white women that he fucked they should get some dildos and fuck him. He's a little Man up Shits in that ass you see him kissing white men's ass that depressing I'm just kidding boy, you got billions and trillions and I was about to kiss nobody's ass you got money man up Man the fuck up Give me a billion dollars and press-conference me tomorrow morning Yeah them white women suck my dick and you can suck my dick too fuck you End of press conference My folks are shut that shit down like rats ran in the road The only thing wrong he did was screwing all in white women he left them alive All that money he could get off on murder he could get off a Dream team a dream team I could hear the dream team now If the rubber don't fit your muster quit Now they got him in a sex rehabilitation hospital what the fuck does that mean They're gonna cure him Will they better get rid of them white nurses cuz he'll fuck them If they want to cure him, they'd better hire some black nurses But a higher black nurses because he says he only fucks black women the month of February and Juneteenth But he married Becky he married Becky he married Becky Becky nanny model, ho the bitch was a home Pose like hos That's why I got busted you can't trick a ho Ho can't trick another ho bring your bitch-ass ho ho I know what you up to bring your ass home He pissed Becky off Becky is getting 750 million okay more money than ever ever If your black ass would have been married to Elvis and asked that kind of money The white folks will arrested you the rest that bitch Good, huh, and her kids in jail. The bitches tried to steal from Elvis Here the bitch $7.50 get the bitch outta here The food stamps of the bus pass give it to him which say no 750 is this bitch on drugs Becky's and if he brings in them holes around the kids mayn't married to one i'm becky says she can find him 10 million I can't make this up. She's getting palimony elements acknowledge it and she finding him Becky. You don't want to miss Becky off Cuz that boy, let's keep this shit real let's not be scared he got a Becky ass woman that boy won't walked his ass He's running around. They're hitting them white balls on the golf club. That bitch said give me that Club I'm get ready to hit some black balls She you know all that shit happen and she beat his ass that white woman beat the black out that boy That's why I ran in that tree all was left was the Asia Michael Jackson just had a goddamn birthday Okay, Michael Jackson and you guys get it out of your head. Look you tell alive nothing it becomes the truth And these white folks is lying on Michael. Michael was not no goddamn pedophile. That's a goddamn lie, but no fucking pedophile All this shit was about money that first boy admitted his parents made him. Tell that lie he what no pedophile now he was x-files Every time I saw him. I went Scully Scully Need that boy take his pants off it look at his penis and all that bullshit. That's what kill ed. Whatis what started it? Disgracing that boy like that. It's a damn shame. That was a start of that fucking Hollywood them bastards. I Try to keep up what they say What they do And what they try to make and what they try to make us fucking believe wait That's what I want to know so I know I'm not going crazy Who is this black woman? That owns Popeyes Chicken? Where does she come from all of a sudden all my Woman I see all of my business people papa, what the hell is she coming from? That she's been in the basement all this time fried bits fried. Nah, see she owns it. Have you seen it? Papa, is she the pine-sol lady's sister? Who is she? Is she uncle ben's daughter where she come from this year at your mama's nice where she come from He misses butter Mills granddaughter was who is she Oh chicken Bits come from And Aunt Jemima looks like Tyra Banks They have changed auntie Mames image she looks like the next top fucking model She's got a perm. Have you seen it? She's oh my you would you wouldn't think she'd know anything about the pancakes. I Was on the airplane going to Europe in first class is some rich rich white woman cuz you know the white woman get rich they Start talking for real. There's some funny bitches when they when they get drunk Who's talking my last round give a damn what that bitch got or she better get in that kitchen and cook them pancakes It was she got on I'll buy that bitch a Gucci bag cook me some pancakes Popeyes Chicken Thank you, you got to help me I think I'll be seeing things Now you've got to help guess who I saw selling furniture on television that goddamn Magic Johnson What is up with magic selling furniture? Then I said he owned Staples check-cashing money loan Tax Fatburger the theater those restaurant. I'm serious god damn He used to be the poster child for AIDS now he's just got his hands in all the business What kind of aids do they have? Financial aids I Wanted I said that of the big benefit in Hollywood and a white man on crutches Hobble up that stage he was pissed and they typed meet but I was so offended. I said fuck you you troublemaker He didn't call me when you were getting AIDS don't call me when you got it Everybody gonna die you just know when to fuck up out of here I'm not being cold everybody in here gonna die all of you gonna kick the bucket You're gonna die just wait death is coming But your internet money you internet illusion Occlusion you have money worshipping that goddamn money But you ain't about shit your wealth and your health is in your brain and in your health The rich man will give you all his money for your health and your sanity That's where your wealth is the ones in the clapping, you know, you other fools you actually think that money is something It's an illusion. You will never see a Brinks truck following a hearse you won't be seeing They bury people they don't bury money Mo Griffith had all the money all of it Didn't keep him here he gone That big-titty white lady had all the money. She's gone Christina onassis had more money than all of them gone You cannot take it with you, but you must give the Egyptians and a for effort. They tried to take that shit with them My grandkids my kids they ain't like us they ain't like us they ain't scared to die ain't scared of no goddamn dog White folks tell them they came right on the bus go tell them Bad motherfucker go tell hip-hop the ones that wear a pant go tell them they came around on the bus Egg or B. No bus Go walk to school Shoot kill everybody on the bus. They'll burn that motherfucker up nobody. Everybody have to walk ain't gonna be no goddamn bus No singing they don't give a damn White folks go tell them they can't drink in the white drinking fountain go tell them em Okay, you can't drink here then bring the Li ass up there to drink Put some damn little motherfuckers don't scare about jail don't care about going to jail That's the bus by the – And bring your little German Shepherds bring them they got pitbulls they'll chase you in the ermine job Young lightning you should see your faces like No, I'm telling you – goddamn – you got them little black friends, you know, I crazy they're up they crazy captain about no goddamn German shepherds And up from that old school my folks love them dogs, they love them dogs the nicest Signum German Shepherds on just trying to get us And I'm a human being nobody protested that There's back there hot chicken get him Minimum dogs, I don't give a damn about a dog. I'll choke the shit out of a dog. I've been with him dogs I'll give a dog to a Chinese family Give a damn about no puppy. I'll run a puppy over back up mix used it Because white folks will take a baby and leave it in the garbage can in front of the fire department Give damn bout. No baby. Fuck that, baby. I don't want that, baby But not a puppy They just did it the other day the man hit and ran and hit people and ran hit him and ran They won't hit a puppy they know they're going to help up They leave the dog, they leave the cat all the money fuck the grandkids you leave the cat millions of motherfuckin dollars And they taking everybody jail they taken everybody this year what's the little rapper's name little somebody what's his name Lil Wayne they took little Wayne's ass to jail the lane locked him up Heavy security Time to keep him from big Wayne They had just on their television these white folks the things that come up this white folks mouth is too much That brother that went crazy that president went crazy on his child because they kept calling him the n-word That boy and his little white girl. She told all dear or incoming homie All that is so racial they so racer he got tired of that shit Call his mom and told me what she could kill some more white folks Won't be calling that no more He went crazy went postal but the only good thing about it is just horrible What about to kill her but that's horrible But the good thing then two or three black folks that work with him. They can do whatever they want. Come late It'll be no problem go on take your Christmas and new you take all your vacations come Your job is still he'll come hack it when you want to eat job Hawaii it killed accident your job is still there Oh my god, brother They are trying to pick somebody to play Elizabeth Taylor They can forget it ain't nobody pretty enough who's pretty enough to play this potato Nicholas show their bitches old movies and then white bitches up in Hollywood with all that fake shit They can't play Liz Liz wasn't fake. That was a pretty ass white woman and big Earl's titties real titties That we never saw just cleavage and diamonds and rubies at bitch worked in big titties We never saw not them 100 men, she'd Merrick they saw them big ol titties This is too pretty they came found about em, sorry brothers ain't about to come god damn close see too pretty they have to show old movies and she was a freak of nature cuz she was English and You know the English are not attractive Starting with that ugly-ass queen that's an ugly bitch Come on. Be real that bitch looked like sheep shitting Shelia's water She ugly, her mom was ugly her daddy bizarre. My son is ugly his new wife looked like Dana miss am ugly motherfuckers Keep it real ugly This she's the queen what the fuck does the witch look like? Ugly bitch Get me to say that bitch is cute Cuz she white want me she said no, sir ugly ass tank look like a billy goat She looked like she'll sees mama Another ugly white bitch juggling She's ugly by white standards her own race. Se ugly But don't be mad at me. She ugly I Saw the wedding veils of so many goddamn veils So she don't want no helicopters at the wedding. No cameras bitches what you don't want? Oh y'all are scared you're scared Oh Massive all gonna get us in trouble master. That bitch is ugly You be scared I scared I'm scared Well the white buzz love you when you're scared There's only two kind of black people in America today You the runnin free. Are you running scared? Hi you runnin? And I'm not dumb race has nothing to do with color I stupid causes a bunch of you black anglo-saxons That skin is black, but that brain is white And when I get mad at you guess what I call you your graham cracker, motherfucker Dr. Logue, dr. Laura don't make me like Mel Gibson And you know his craziest cat shit And another one that disks me off that goddamn prostitute over there in Alaska Oh Ass bitch that trap ass bitch oh oh I'm from the streets. I was raised with pips. I know a hole when I see one Oh Slut Tramp No respect don't have no respect for Obama. Look they're talking about God and all that perfect a little devil verses in bitch She don't fool me Oh Tell my secret see so you can see Russia from hub her window. No, bitch. You can see him in your bedroom You fucking the motherfucker the Tramp ass bitch hoe tramp slut hole Suck a dick bitch and do Playboy She don't have no respect for my black peasant now, I'll have a goddamn respect for her boys ass And the Apple don't fall far from the tree the daughters are hole to another hope a White boy wouldn't go marry that Tramp. He just wanted to pussy. He was playing that bitch That old white woman ain't had nothin to baby that young girl had all them babies. That's why one I'm skillet. Fond keep the shit real Keep this shit real I'm taking you back, you know illa for I'm you know what I'm talking about This dark up there nine months after year, that's all they do is fuck up there Ain't nothing up there but hoes and vampires I see some of your black faces Oh master Paul gonna give us some trouble master master. It's me sick master In this oil this oil, I didn't know oil scared white folks I would have spilled some all a long time ago Always messing up shit want somebody to help that white man is so good at an up shit ruining shit the atmosphere everything just fucks Up everything and then wants you to hold hands and sing and help in green and save it in the polar bear There's only two and help. I see a polar bear. It ain't gonna be but one I'll kill it Up on that white man I help out and help you. Fuck this up. I help you cleaning up shit. I Leave my house. I turn all the water open ain't no water when I get back. I Drive all day up and down that freeway on busiest go and shit out All that shit you see out there the freeway I'm the one thought I shit up He wants you to hold hands and sing in green a little bullshit, I'm not into that shit fuck that He loves attach it up and then sing about it wants you to help him As white folks liked it when it was white that's when they are the most happy that's when they're at their most happiest It's one you gotta study their body language when when they were running this shit back in the day Go back. Go back to Miss America. Remember? Remember Bert parks. Remember white people in the white heaven it would although The body language there she Miss Sing it Bert. Oh there she is The she was blonde blue white might miss well they were so happy the tickle just tickled pink Sing it bird get him bird. Oh And I told you God always has to intervene God got involved in that and Made Miss America black 5 years straight in a row remember? You remember? Do you remember? White folks 5 Burke parts They got bad gonna be the most singing get your ass we don't need you But Parks got fired It became verbal and it was me There she is Oh black thing this here Officer there she is officer They were not into that But God always gets involved, who's that miss whoever she was Miss USA the little white drug addict remember huh? Oh I loved wasn't she your favorite. That was my favorite miss whatever it was hyung What's your talent? My favorite my favorite See the little white girl the little big lip white girl she was in miss what was it miss something just recently and She lost cuz they asked her a question about Arizona and she said yeah They should state should have its rights and they voted against him. They got pissed off she lost She was cute a little foreign girl won. But she that little white girl was cute. She could have won I wish she'd let me write first u21 All she had to say is my Indians friends said they hope everybody goes home She would have won the press would I ate it up? Brilliant diplomatic, but she had to be a stupid bitch Oh States should have their rights States do not dominate human rights. It don't work. That way just read history. It don't work and I want to tell you this I'm not dumb I do race and I talked about it heads up to do with me Ike a drop-dead as here in America I'm reacting to my environment that I'm in all of it's not a clean up. I understand it, but I'm not stupid I know that we're all in this together black white That's give me whatever it is because trust me we are either going to hang together Are we gonna hang separately? But guess what kids we're going to hang cause these motherfuckers up in that politics are crazy And they don't give a damn about nobody. We should have a revolution every four years We should go up in that White House and chop off heads Oh Datak right then we every four years we go in and chop some heads off hurry put the money back they're coming money back Does they think they can just say and do whatever they wanted that we don't count and look at history No outside country attack, Russia Russia fell what? internally Because the way they were treating their people and if this race shit is gonna be our downfall If we don't get this shit together, we're at war right now. We're at war. Those people are fish bowling us. We're at war We're talking democracy and freedom and they watching out every fucking move and this racial shit We better put it on hold we can get back to it after war but better put this shit off Cuz I travel all over the world all over the goddamn United States And I remember when going to the airport and all that was fun. Nah gets sick stomachache cramps I get fucked up when I got to go to the goddamn Airport and when I used to leave the country back in the day before 9/11 I leave the country I get into another country. I would be there for five minutes I have an accent be there in the France and come back with accent five minutes back said Well, the shit has changed now. I'll leave with accent. No English no English Did you get your sensitive papers, did you get your sense to pay Pez It's against the law if you don't mail it back to know that What they ask you what's the first thing that in? the Indians in the house These white folks are still looking Indians, I Got on the phone I called them I said I thought you killed them all Cuz remember we was kids you remember one little two little three and it was telling them motherfuckers They not now remember one little two little dick number now If you put down there, yeah the three in his mouth said next morning Yes, we come for the Indians Chuckles want some Indians and I tried to figure it out I said how come these white folks hate Indian so much. I figured it out You cannot make an Indian a slave. That's why Indians go catatonic on your ass And they're not gonna move until you open up that casino Trump and the boys did not want those Indians to have casinos they had Propaganda they had commercials they did not want it It was okay for the white folks have them they want those Indians to have them I don't know if they came here but in California in New York, they were on TV every 10 minutes I can't make this shit up. I had this good the Indians They made over 80 million dollars this year They're not paying taxes I Didn't vote for that. They just white folks showed that I say. How come they can't let the Indians make their commercial The white man stole our land They're not paying rent I Didn't vote for that Indians were no joke Indians were not punks. They rode horses bareback That's a macho tough bad motherfucker, and I'm talking about they wrote him four or five years you think you bad in macho go ride a horse bareback right now do it for 15 minutes you Will be in the hospital for two years all yo shit. I'll be fucked up. You'll have to get skin grafts new balls gone 15 minutes you see you tough. Go ahead back They were no joke and the bow and arrows will no joke either if they had guns we'd all be sitting here with a peace pipe and feathers Bow and arrows would no joke then white folks be on the stagecoach haven't seen my family in eight months I can't wait to get home And don't you black people think you the first person the white man put out there to pick cotton you want the first It was a huge audition for that They put the white folks out there they bitch they complained about the Sun They wanted their lawyers. They oh, I'm not gonna sing and pick cotton. You're not fucking my wife This is bullshit. They complain and complain they got rid of them Chinese ran off Mexicans kept picking oranges no copy amigo cocky Here we come picking them and singing the singing must like it And God knows he's doing look at the full picture God picked us to be this late because we could handle it That's why we could handle it We did baddest race on the planet and his wife both would have been slaves. This shit would have ended in 20 minutes Change and it's not gold Call my lawyer get your things Susan we're out of here You know, I am the very first person to say that Clinton President Clinton was a black person. I did it on the Apollo. I have it on film. I did everybody Everybody sound bited and recycle and hopped on net shedding virginity came from them. That was me I had a whole list of why I thought it was black. I've changed it since then He's a pimp He makes pimp moves the government everybody tried to get them Asian girls remember they would not give him up He went over like a pimp. Give me my bitches and they gave And you know his MO it was some dick sucking on that way You know, he told them Asian girls, let's make this a happy ending And I love me some Madonna I want your Vegas I love some Madonna that old bitch I love Madonna I Love her cuz she stole that black baby from Africa When over there Bo Oh vote Africans were fascinated with her moves vogue They looked up her net black baby was gone You see me with that black baby it looks scared Like is looking for his real parents I love Metallica. She's real she'll change up on your ass She was over there in England faking it for 10 years married to that English man millions Of course is England in tea time in food, and then reality set in Madonna said wait a minute Let me divorce this motherfucker in the same. They say this tea ain't for me She say I'm going home. I want some dick Some big dick dick dick, I'm going home You gotta have escaped that ballplayer. What's his name? Yeah, she fucking him like a virgin Get in Madonna it was funny up to see what's fucking that brother. Y'all got real quiet And where in the hell is these diseases come from now? They've got some new shit on TV what these disease is coming from the flu the swine the list of line Well, it should come from All of a sudden all these goddamn diseases where was these diseases when we could have used them in? Slavery NASA as a slave. I got Alzheimer's masters Africa We could use it What's that shit you just say shit to wreck. What does it go? yeah, let's Just go does it go? Fuck you master. Fuck you Whereas this shit when we could have use it What's the stuff you get with your hands what does it go? Yeah, that's I can't I got comedy I keep it God man Masa I got Michael Jackson disease, you know white folks don't pick god We could have used it You know the one thing you know what think now you don't even guess what you don't know one thing about white goo that Really pisses me off about weapons and really insults me Their cooking shows These motherfuckers couldn't cook have you seen their shows this cup the air saw but back in slavery the good ball water I can't boil water Then answer my mother she's sick we'll get Uncle Ben to do it I guess They must have been in the bedroom make it so much fun about us while we down there cooking my fuckers think we can't cook It get a bitch And they can cook their ass off all that time chicken us Some dirty motherfuckers Watch the shoals. Am I wrong look at this shit these motherfuckers could cook This is dumb always trying to keep people fucking dumb This ratio proof. Oh wow, they all I can shock like this is new Shooting in the back all this bullshit. Why is this new? One of you ever read we're off duty black cop has shot a white cop in the back Never it don't happen it doesn't happen but it sure happens all the way around and Who hates who white folks are safe in our neighborhood they walk around a night naked? We ain't safe in theirs keep it real whoo, hey two We go ready, but what do you live here? What do you that racial profiling shit? Do you live in there do you? What is where I live have to do with this red light Here's my license my registration my insurance. What is all this other shit? What does the matter where I work? Where are you going? I'm driving till I run out of gas I Don't have to tell you where I'm going we know sir we're just curious if I tell you where I'm going I'm gonna get in trouble. Why is that sir? Cuz I'm on my way to your house, bitch Every minority in here you all have got stories, you know, the police is what they talk in the way They've Act and the shit they've said doesn't a district fuckin respect and the craziness. I cannot make this up I'm not this good. I've been in the car with car full of white folks. I'm riding shotgun They pull us over. The police asked me for my license. I didn't driving this motherfucker And asking the white folks are you safe are they safe Now I could be in a car full of wykel please to come back shut up you must have done something I'm in the car two-seater Mercedes Hollywood worth the Mercedes cost 150,000 and bad motherfuckers my drunk rich white friend and I'm glad too please put us over all fuckers drop They take me to jail I say he's dry, oh you influenced them come at us And Then you gotta be double join it and then the circus to pass that driving test That drunk thing. You don't put your leg up touch. It backwards bend over stretch over say abcs in German French and African And then you get out and the drunk test they scared to death walk a straight line I ran don't give me no head start It isn't dark – They still stand-in there I guess he wasn't drunk This hard being black I've been black for a long time I'm tired. I'm exhausted I could go to Mercy Hospital right now just drop dead what happened. He was tired of being black It's hard gotta go through all kind of bullshit every fucking day your goddamn life I'm going on interview. I know I can't make this up I got a certain time, you know, we do Earth commercials as well Are we trying to get something and I'm just up and I'm got my car park cattle Aren't you white one? She dress. This white woman sees me. I can't make this up turns around and runs. I Chase that bitch for 15 blocks Shoes off running this she'd have been Olympics. She don't want all the goddamn gold We go on the store, we start a parade they start talking and tongue we pass my shit I'm in New York. I'm coming to do Somebody's show and I at a five-star hotel and I'm getting like 7:00 in the morning I'm getting on the elevator a woman's about 36 lat she's getting off and she says to me, can I help you? I said, can you help me? Who the fuck are you? Oh I'm the maid on the fifth floor. I said well bitch go make up a bed and get the fuck out my face She was telling me I'm not where I'm supposed to be bitch And it doesn't have to be white people can be black people I'm in first class. I bet the goddamn Airport the black bitch Don't you me do do you know what lying you and I said bitch. Do I look like Stevie Wonder? I Know what line I meant and you can't wait on me get your fucking manager. I don't like your attitude to each other This is when I get a goddamn first-class ticket that fucking machine They all know everything They know what for I get up there. They know Asked me no goddamn silly. Ask questions. I get in first class and the stewardess comes miss it. Can I see your first-class ticket? I said yes, but I ain't pulling out my pocket but I'm saying yes Can I see it? She just go? Yes, simply look give it to me I said I will when you ask everybody else on here to see this If she came back you did White folks are slick with words, they'll get you this is what they'll say to you. When is the first time you had syphilis? They won't ask you have you ever had it that's a different question I was like, I think 16 maybe not 17, maybe not 17 And a psychiatrist was talking to me and the psychiatrist Got to talking about sex and you know all this other stuff, right? So I thought he was playing a dozen because he said well, have you ever seen your mama naked man? You know, you don't talk about my mama Motherfucker, have you ever seen your mama sloppy-ass pussy? Dozen with this motherfucker, yo mama stink it motherfucking ass When I left the office I told a freak up in that motherfucker Have you seen you my mama, you know, I went off White folks can't ask me you seen me on that tube. They can't ask me You can't ask me too much you got you better stay away from me when you get to asking questions Ask somebody else cuz I'm getting ready to go off. I Was on some show the talk room some shit out of my face. What does you want from me Paul? I said I want your mama bitch. That's what I want Don't you don't if you don't gonna declare war care declare it? Asking media. I was on CNN CNN goes all over the world Pig please watch CNN White is about to in word, the white woman all up in my face now Paul when someone White says in word just about I don't have none do it me. No, it doesn't bother me. She got mad It's just what she want to hear some other shit And she kept coming. I said to myself I'm gonna get this bitch But Paul doesn't bother you why and she was close enough to kiss me I said why cuz I like a little salt on my cracker I called that bitch a cracker and she dropped the mic and all the lights went off It was 20 cameras and 90 lights while they was saying the n-word minute I call that bitch a cracker everything shut down Then they asked me about B et. Well, why do you only be cheapo What do you think Oh like they used to own us. Thanks Paul The white folks are slick then they said they spiked those are slick now Paul. We know there's a racial problem No, Paul, what if you can handle it you could control it now. How would you handle it now? The cleanup time is cooling time. I'm supposed to cool now the coon dog. I said how kill every white person on this planet They said the end racism that's the only way Well Paul, you couldn't mean that your mother could be white I'd have to kill that bitch too Oh bah can't we be friends. Yeah when I get even I'm a weather tight you and you ain't no better than me you go. We're too tight. You too, because human beings are trip He could be my best friend. I could go to him and say My brother's fucking my wife and he'll go. Oh, that's the most horrible and saddest thing. I've heard this year Well, if I go to them and tell them my brother's fucking your wife, you know, I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. I see the difference See the difference race means Everything in America when you have the complexion for the protection for the collection that white skin would protect you That's why when I see homeless white people, I just start crying What a waste the whites get Everybody talks crazy when it comes to race you black people talk real crazy. Oh my Indian grandmother. Fuck you in your Indian grandma Always leaving Africa out the picture Because that's a negative to you when it should be the positive, but it's the negative we got to read brainwash Ourselves we have to read brainwash ourselves race The Hawaiians with Samoan. Yes, some Oh black people The Filipinos moogly toes And you black people from the islands? I don't care if you write up here. You think that you better than us? Cuz they dropped you off first And don't let the Asians fool you rice didn't come from them rice came from Africa We introduced rice to white folks to enslave. We filled a rice at the Asians. They were terrified Don't touch it. Pick it up with sticks. The rest is history Who races a trip Mexicans were thinking they was white folks they forgotten about the Alamo the Burrito can stay you have to go motherfucker vamanos handle a Punto Who races deep all my Puerto Rican friends, I'm Spanish Oh at all Mexican No, I mean I'm Spanish I thought that was a language What am I speaking Could not talk crazy. I'm English. Really I am I speak it. I Rest my case Everybody gets it twisted if you take an African zebra to Canada. It does not make it a Canadian zebra It makes you an African zebra living in Canada. Don't get it twisted Don't get it twisted salsa is an African love dance. It's not up for discussion. It's what the fuck it is Keep it real keep it fucking real Puerto Ricans Dominicans Cubans ain't nothing but black folks that can swim Africans I can't stand Africans. I don't like applicants Let's have attitude. They have attitude towards us and they act like they mad at us. You gotta twist it. We are mad at you We waited and nobody came for us you punk motherfuckers Any other race with a declared war on America and asked for their people back Africans ruled us off like a bad check And then they gon show up 400 years later with a briefcase full of watches I don't need no goddamn watch. I know what time it is And what was in DC as CBS's and white shows networks They had it on their about kids in race and everybody went into shock Just recycling and copying that that black woman is a young black girl that did You know the doll tests a little black kids their brainwash we got work to do black folks They think black is evil and ugly and bad. I Saw that shit. They just asked the wrong questions. I wish I could have been there Where's a little serial killer doll Why Where's a little doll that tell lies White Where's the little doll that steals all the money Why? Baby told me to get the hell out the room. You lead. We don't have enough white dolls. Get out of here Does it look rich doll, it does drugs and go to jail wait Whereas a little doll that fucks the president The children the children Listen to them they're trying to talk to us. Listen to the children. They're speaking The children was speaking They're speaking The children are speaking The six-year-old girl walked into her mother's bedroom Mama was given dead ahead like Linda Lovelace She was with her seven-year-old friend. She went into shock Would you believe that bitch beat my ass was sucking my thumb The children listen to them a Twelve-year-old girl sit down and write a letter with her mother to God She wanted a bicycle. He said dear God. I want a motherfucking bike. The mother was in shock Are you a gang member? But do you learned to talk like that with Catholic Christians? You've got a mass you're confessing you come back. The little girl wants a mass. He confessed you've been up in there She saw those statues of Jesus and Mary. She's told them both she went home She sit down around that little God dear God. I got your son his mama and I want my motherfucking bike The children listen to them Like twelve-year-old boy walks into his daddy's bedroom daddy's giving Bhama pumping, uh, not missing a beat tan it up The boys and shocked as his mother daddy looks over his son you don't care just laughs He's stroking on his head And winks 12 weeks later. He goes little boys bedroom little boy got grandma sprayer. They go 10 and up That is like you in shock little boy looks at his daddy today so funny. When is your mama? Thank you There's incredible the I mean Paul Mooney he's classified me in my Phony is the best man. He keeps it real That's what I like about the brother keeps it real and he's a legend Oh what I've loved about you so much is that you really are just an incredible political satirist Obama they killed him the same honey one. What do you mean out? Is that a fake Barack Obama baby. It's an Android Was off the chain foul mood is alleged my stomach hurts and laughter I'm tired and he wore us out We're clowning in the backstage area of the legendary Paul Mooney That's right legendary writer also a legendary comedian himself a lot of funny stuff I know he had the one about if black people could fly they all look like crows