My good buddy “Spider” recently developed a severe case of the #shits while visiting the Philippines. He couldn’t leave the crapper and had to go to the emergency room twice. I’ll discuss how Traveler’s #Diarrhea is contracted, diagnosed, and treated, along with tips on how to prevent it. Dr. Marcos will talk about some #shit the #CDC ain’t figured out yet.
How to Take a Dump and Bathe in Your Filipina Wife’s Village:
This video is Rated PG-13 for Adult Language. It’s about two and a half hours long. The subject matter is serious because it pertains to your health. I’m presenting this information in order to invoke thought, give you some ideas to discuss with your doctor, and for general entertainment purposes.
*LEGAL DISCLAIMER – I’M NOT A LICENSED DOCTOR OR HEALTH CARE PROVIDER! I’m not here giving you medical advice so take this shit with a grain of salt. I’m just telling you what I think, have done, seen, and experienced, will do, etc. when it comes to the sticky topic of Traveler’s Diarrhea. This disclaimer is brought to you by my good friend, Captain Fucking Obvious. He’s got to write this shit to prevent a lawsuit from some skinny-jean-wearing asshole millennial who will blame me if his tummy still hurts after watching my video. If you think you have Traveler’s Diarrhea or ANY health problem, go see your doctor or a licensed medical professional instead of consulting me or Dr. Google! Do not take ANY medications without first consulting your doctor. There. That’s all the legal cheese I’m gonna serve. It’s a damn shame the world has evolved to the point where I have to waste my time and write this paragraph.
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#TravelersDiarrhea #Travel #TravelTips #Survival #TravelSurvival #WorldTravel #WorldTraveler #Traveler #Prevention #Passport
our folks will meet my I made my dream going here hey I want to I want to welcome everybody to my channel to my video and folks it's a beautiful day here in the Philippines now prior to today it's been raining like I don't know like a week straight there's a tropical depression small monsoon typhoon whatever I don't know roll through is been raining for a fucking week man oh yeah drinking a crown of water so anything out today was a today was a beautiful day here it's hot got my crew out of the house actually got some exercise in it and took him to the basketball courts so we had a pretty good day today and I've been working on this video you know during the during this damn where anytime you know folks rain let me stop by rain for a minute it really does affect your fucking mood I don't think there's any way I could live in London or Seattle the rain just truly fucks up your mood you know I just haven't wanted to do anything haven't been excited about getting anything going it's just I don't let no bitch and I don't I don't let the weather affect my mood but to a certain extent it does because when you're trying to go out and do something and the damn street out there is like 6 inches 7 inches 8 inches of water well it does affect your operations and when you don't get shit accomplished well I guess it does you know does sort of affect you but me I'm not for that rambling shit what are we here to talk about today folks we're here to talk about motherfucking travelers diarrhea and I'm just gonna it's gonna be a long-ass rambling video I'm drinking it's a it's a beautiful night out here and so we're gonna talk about travelers diarrhea the shit's the motherfucking runs the trots I mean there's a million fucking names for it right Montezuma's Revenge if you're in Mexico belly belly if you're over in India trying to find yourself you know doing the yoga and that meditation and all that shit so the reason I'm doing this video a lot of people ask me when they're coming over here like right now I'm in the Philippines I'm in Southeast Asia most of my time they ask about the water now when I was in the States and people were going down to Mexico a little bit of a cough dude all this fucking rain just got bare with me and deal with it you know everybody talks about if you go to Mexico don't drink the water don't drink the water don't drink the water what have you it's hard to got it you go down to Mexico you drink the water you're gonna get sick well it's not just Mexico okay you can you can get traveler's diarrhea from any country in the world I mean it's kind of a general term to you know to describe some type of you know something going on down in your gut weird just fucking shitting like a goose so if you're from the US you know if you go to Mexico don't drink the water but you really have to extend that to if you get most places outside of the West and some places in the West you don't want to drink the water because it's it's contaminated with what I'm going to talk about in a minute and you know you're gonna get a case of the shit's so what I've done so I kind of stay on topic and it's a serious fucking topic here right I went ahead and I did the blog posts and I've got the rough draft of the blog posts here on my iPad and I'm gonna refer to this and I'm gonna try to stick to the script so if you are a a person that learns you know by reading and you can just flip over to the blog post or links down in the description you basically read what I'm about to talk about but I've spent some time on this and I want to try to stay on script so the first thing I want to say let me throw a legal disclaimer out there so all you you you know all my my trolls and everybody else you're gonna report me to the CDC in the State Department and the fucking Medical Board and whoever the fuck else you wanna report me let me just give this legal disclaimer all right and it's on my on my site here are number one I'm not a doctor I used to be a paramedic believe it or not I do know a little bit about fucking medicine but I am NOT a doctor I'm not qualified to diagnose your medical condition whatever problems you're having I'm not here giving you medical advice you can say this video is for entertainment purposes but I'm also merely describing what I do what I have done what I will do if I am traveling off the beaten path on the overstate road backpacking be-bopping and something happens to me where I get sick in my body's immune system doesn't take care of the problem so I'm not a doctor I'm not giving you medical advice and let me play captain fucking obvious here you have any medical problems seek professional medical help go to a hospital get some professional fucking held on line one one or whatever there that's your fucking legal this glamour so any of you fucking skinny jean wearing fucking Millennials and want to blame everybody else for your problems if you still have a tummy ache after you watch my video and it doesn't fucking cure you you know what fuck yourself I don't care I gave you the legal disclaimer and and that's it that's all you're gonna fuckin get that's all the legal cheese gonna get served here are some moving right along okay travelers diarrhea I just called the shits now the word diarrhea comes from Latin or maybe it's Greek fuck it's one of the two it's from way back and it's a word which basically means a flowing through or to flow through a lot of colloquial a lot of slang names and I was just fucking googling and I landed on that fucking Urban Dictionary and it has a few uh a few terms here I'll throw out there if your entertainment it's known as the shits the runs the trots here in the Philippine they call it el biomes oh I have LBM loose bowel movement that means you've got the shits the Hershey squirts swamp bass Cleveland tap water spread mulch toilet gravy I don't get the Chewbacca sweater one but I just started laughing what the fuck's that Chewbacca sweater got to do with the shit's I I had no fucking idea and then travelers diarrhea you know it's got nicknames based on geographic locations people call that Montezuma's Revenge you know down in Mexico down that way Delhi Belly if you're over an Indian and when I looked at I've never heard before they call it wilderness diarrhea or backcountry diarrhea and I realize you get the shit's if you know drink got a stream or pond or something that's contaminated but you know it pertains to hikers and backpackers whatever you want to call it folks if you're going on a vacation this the purpose of this video again is to discuss everything about it but the main thing is it's gonna buck up your vacation and a catalyst to this is that my buddy just came into town and for these purposes I'm just gonna call him spider Oh spider came into town and was here for like less than three days and got a severe case of traveler's diarrhea the shits and he was basically incapacitated for his entire time here and so we talked about this and and I'm gonna tell his story in a second it's kind of funny but we talked about this and and he said look man you know what the main thing is he said you lose all your money you lose all your fucking money if you end up catching this shit you can't leave the hotel you can't leave a fucking crapper so if you catch it on the first or second day and you're on a ten-day vacation you're gonna spend eight days on the shitter you just lost all that money it comes down to money you just lost your time your money your entire experience and you're gonna be fuckin miserable so this this topic equates into time and thousands of dollars really so let me give you some statistics here and art according to the US government good ol US government twenty five to fifty percent twenty five to fifty percent of international travelers will find themselves glued to the porcelain guide due to a case of fucking travelers diarrhea folks that's what is that that's one in four two and four so that's a pretty high statistic now this is speaking from Americans and you know most Americans don't travel most Americans don't have a fucking passport but I would say the typical international American traveler is their first international trip or their second international trip they are not frequent travelers and so they have no idea what they're getting into but there's your stats right there so just just make a nice round number half of the people from America who travel are gonna end up with what I'm about to talk about it's gonna fuck up their vacation you're getting ruined your vacation and I decided to do this video and write this blog post because Spyder was here and and what happened I'm gonna tell this story right now but his story and then it reflected back about a decade ago I caught a bad case of the shits down in Guatemala and that's a separate story then I also got a case of it when I was in in Kabul you can leave a fucking Porter shitter but what happened old spider I'll just tell the story now and then we'll get back on screw our deck legs and then motherfuckers here about three days everything was good we're down in Manila we punched up two Angeles City immediately that motherfucker was sick as a dog fucking sweat shitting fever body aches you know just curled up in the fetal position and in the bed in his hotel room and just went from there to the shitter just couldn't fucking leave now the thing about him is that almost every time he's come to the Philippines this is what happens to the man three days he's good the rest of the time he's sick as a dog in the hotel room and continues to be sick when he goes back to to his home country well this time was no different after three days he's sick as a dog to the point then we ended up going to the hospital now no need to name any names but this was the hospital experience we'd go there get him checked in the emergency room you know what are you here for man I got a fucking excuse the shit's I mean uncontrollable diarrhea just shitting like a goose I can't stop it I don't know what's going on they take Spyder back to the room doctor comes in you know does the questions and says alright well what we're gonna do is you know we need to draw blood bill blood tests and check out your blood and we also need a stool sample and he said the a spider he said you think you can think you can you know produce basically you know give us a stool sample this fucking spiders like I don't think that's gonna be a problem and so the you know the doctors like all right so I'm going to order you know order the the blood tests and you know evaluate a stool sample so a few minutes later this nurse comes in and she's got this little plastic cup then it ain't no big fucking Cup like that I miss one of them little plastic cups with a lid on it and it's about the size I mean it wasn't much bigger than like like in the states you know and they're like bringing those little plastic cups with your pills you know if you're in the fucking emergency room or in the hospital if you hit a little like a little shot glass right it was like a little shot glass with a fucking lid on top and she just drops it off and says okay you know you know just can you put us put the sample in here and walks out and he's like well wait a minute doc you know wait a minute man where I put it and she's like just just prayed by the nurse's station and that kind of brings up another another issue right the reason he's asking is because in the in the US you know you go to the hospital and you got to piss in a cup or provide a sample you know there's a little fucking discreet window between the between the crapper and you know the other side the nurse's station there's privacy so obviously he thought you know okay is there a window in there or what he didn't know she's like nah ice cream by the nurse's station I told him I was like yeah dog there's no shame in the game here just just bring that shit up put it on the desk and that's the way to do things there ain't no a little sliding fucking window you know privacy so he goes to get up and I said wait a minute man let me let me just make sure you're clear on how to do this I don't want to insult your intelligence but you know if you told the average person go put a stool sample in there they may accidentally contaminate the motherfucker right so I said look man you need shit direct into that little cup and of course he's looking at me and he's listening I said don't shit in the fucking toilet bowl and his and scoop down in the toilet water to get the fucking sample I said if you do you're gonna be picking up bacteria from the dude that was there before you or you know bacteria that's been living in that fucking shitter and plus you're gonna scoop up the tap water and he's like oh shit I don't even think about that I see yeah I mean you got a shit direct in that fucking little a little motherfucking Cup about that big around I said number two when you shit in there put the fucking lid on it and then wash it motherfucker off in the sink he's like looking at me nice little look if you don't put the little in there and you try to wash it off in the sink you're gonna get tap water in there and you're gonna contaminate it you know shitting the motherfucker you're obviously gonna have shit everywhere put the goddamn little in there wash that sumbitch off in the sink and then you know and then clean yourself up and take the shit I think the cup and go put it on the nurses desk right so he's like all right so he rolls out you know he had the shit anyhow matter of fact let me back up after the doctor said he's ordered a stool sample the nurse took you know she was like ten minutes she wasn't in there is like yo dude I got fucking shit man go get that fucking Cup so when until you know told hey you get the fucking cup over here a man's got a fucking shit so they hurried up and brought the cup they weren't in any big hurry they didn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation Sonne house spider rolls out my fur comes back like 15 minutes later just like shaking his head he leaves back down on the bed he's a man he said this is crazy I saw what happened he said well he said I already had the fucking shit I'm about to shit my pens to get into the restroom instead I got in there you know got that fucking cup open fucking blew it out fill that motherfucker up you know set it over on the counter and just kept shitting and he said then I looked around I looked to my left and I looked at my right and I realized there's no fucking shit paper in here I was like well welcome to the Philippines dude you you fucking know better he said yeah but then I looked behind the fucking toilet bowl there's no a sprayer I said what he said no dude there's no fucking a sprayer I said there one no fucking trash can full of water with the with the fucking scoop he's like dude there wasn't nothing there was nothing in there and I was like oh well that's man I don't fucking remember that you know and then he says he says yeah but unattainable story he said he said I fucking blew shit all over the back of this fucking toilet I'm like what do you mean well you know he's one of them dudes is that's very particular about journals which is funny because he always gets sick but he's one of those that's always watching his hands he's always got that little alcoholic Joe you know anywhere he goes you know just very clean just very cognizant of all these germs right and so I forgot that he's a hover he don't sit down on the fucking toilet bowl to me germs there that motherfucker hovers you know what I'm talking about you know you're standing up there if I can hold your shit fucking hover and just blow and letting the rip cuz you don't want to fucking get germs from the guy pissing on the fucking policy before you so he said when he went to blow it out between holding that fucking cup and pulling his shirt up and everything and just having explosive shits that just fucking went all over the toilet just destroyed the fucking toilet in there so he said well after this is all done he's looking around there's nothing there's no toilet paper there's no a sprayer there's no water the bathroom is wrecked he says so he said the only thing I could do I did the only thing I could do he said I'm fuckin back my ass up over to the sink you know shit dripping on the floor trail from the fucking toilet to the fuckin sink and basically tailgated that motherfucker know the spiders a big dude spider ain't no small dude he's fucking six foot song you know a couple hundred pounds and a half somewhere in there and you imagine this big motherfucker with his ass up in the fucking sink you know trying to wash his ass basically tailgating the fucking sink in the goddamn bathroom but if you think about it that's the only option that's the only water source and so he said dude I felt I felt bad I still feel bad but it ain't my goddamn fault came to the emergency room I told him what I'm here for I'm sick you know I'm fucking sick and then they sent me into this fucking bathroom don't say nothing about hey man there's no toilet paper there's no a sprayer there's no water just go in there and shit in the fucking cup and put it on the nurse's station so I said nah man that's on them that's that's that's 100 percent on the end that's like that's like a man with a gunshot wound rolling into the fucking emergency room bleeding on the floor and then they blame him well that's what you're fucking there for so anyhow he fucking destroys this bathroom you know washes his ass the best he can there's no soap you know and what can he do there's nothing he can do he said dude but that's not the worst of it he said when I opened up with that fucking door and went the roll out there was this lady that was that was vomiting she was puking she was sick too one nurse is propping her up another lady I guess the family member was propping her up and so they were waiting on me so the minute that I opened the door they were trying to rush in because this woman was puking and he said man when I traded places with him and I looked back and all three of them looked back at me with this look of fucking horror on their face when he looked in that fucking bathroom he's like there's nothing I could do I just kept walking so we're discussing that and I was like you know what man but that's that's on them I mean we know we're in the Philippines but when you show up in an emergency room and they don't give you a roll of fucking toilet paper and there's no a sprayers in there that's not the patient's fault that's on them and so after he tells this fucking story I said all right let me let me run up to the little convenience store about a man is some shit paper I go up to the fucking convenience store inside the hospital they don't sell toilet paper they sell Kleenex and they sell wet wipes so that's what we got no toilet paper so folks realize when you leave the West okay you leave all those things that you take for granted you leave those behind so when I was up there I purposely went in the other restroom same shit there's no toilet paper there's no soap that's any any fucking restroom in the Philippines they're never gonna see toilet paper you're never gonna see soap unless you're in you know one of the higher-end malls or a restaurant a higher-end restaurant you know higher in hotel the majority of the places there is no fucking toilet paper there is no soap but usually there's a big-ass trash can full of water and one of them scoops that's what you use here if you're in a nicer place there's an a sprayer I went in this this hospital the bathrooms nothing nothing and you're just like wow and you know go back down they do the blood test and the stool tests and they just came in and say man you have traveler's diarrhea and it was pretty just general they didn't did give any specifics they just said you have traveler's diarrhea the doctor prescribed some antibiotics and so pharmacy was closed it was a Sunday we humped over to the to the pharmacy across the street picked up his antibiotics and his old lady was paying the bill and I said look dude I wouldn't be a friend to you but I said no we can't we went over there in a taxi I said look dude we should take a tricycle back and he's like wine I said man can you smell like shit you fucking stink man like dude if we if we go in the fucking taxi man I mean it ain't gonna hurt my feelings I just roll the fucking window down but I'm just letting you know that you you smell like shit and it's not your fault but I was like maybe we should try to take a tricycle back those spiders like dead man I'm not riding in a goddamn tricycle soaking up the diesel fumes I'm getting in taxi I was like all right man Rock home I just roll the fucking window now that was experienced number one less than 48 hours later that man was back at the hospital this time he went to a different hospital and told him the same thing you have traveler's diarrhea but they added oh by the way you know it's it's ecoli and you also have some parasites so they didn't specifically say Giardia I don't remember what they said but they said you've got some parasites too they hit him with some shit IV and bumped it up now the man felt so bad he was trying to change his flight spend extra money change the flight just go home that's what it'll do to you just ruin your vacation but he went back home still feeling like shit for days and what he said he said man I don't know what it is in the Philippines every time I come it's the same shit after three days I get put out of commission and he's sitting there and going back there I just can't take it I know what's gonna happen after 15 fucking times I haven't built up any immunity and it's the same shit over and over and I don't blame them because it's what happens to him every time no I've been over here I mean he and I been coming here about the same time but he hasn't been any real time here no I've been on this side of glue for about almost just say it rounded up to a decade I usually don't get sick I don't get I don't get sick and you know apparently I built up a tolerance like you know you live in any place long enough you're gonna build up a tolerance to whatever the local flavor of bacterial virus protozoa is but his system has not built up enough tolerance and every fucking time he comes here he gets sick so that's it that's his story and I told him I you know sometimes doing a YouTube channel it's right it's like writing a book or being a writer sometimes you get creative blocked I did create a block when I'm not fucking drinking I wrote two fucking books basically when I was drunk alone wrong for some reason for me when I drink room my creative side flows a beer and whiskey I just I run my mouth and I get stupid but if I really want to be creative in my writing I drink Rome but since it's been raining I couldn't get out of the fucking house or if I did it's just coming a monsoon you know I sort of had this creative block for past week or so and it's been the positive side is I've just been playing with my kids all day I get up I look at the camera I look at my computer and I got nothing well I'm stone-cold sober that's the problem but I said you know what fucking this ring I'm just gonna play with the kids so I spent a lot of time with my kids playing with them just the simple shit going over flashcards that's the positive side to it but I haven't put any videos out because I just haven't had anything popping them online but talking a spider about his experience that's all I said holy shit man I do need to cover this in depth but so many people ask me is it safe to drink the water is it safe to brush my teeth is the food safe I go through all these safety questions but if you go to youtube and and type in travelers diarrhea and stuff like that there's some videos out there they don't get a lot of views because in my opinion they're so fucking dry they're so fucking politically correct you know or they're 45 seconds long two minutes long going off the best practices or whatever they don't tell you shit they don't tell you fucking ground truth so I'm looking at it I'm like this is horseshit they're telling people what they already know don't drink the tap water you know no one knows shit but it's just like the nurse coming in there and saying shit in this cup and not giving any specific instructions I mean some people just shit in the toilet bowl and scoop it out and then fucking lab results are gonna be skewed anyhow due to his situation in our talks I said you know what man I'm gonna fucking cover this I did a video a long time ago about how to shit at your your girlfriend's house and a Philippine village because so many people asked me hey man hot dog where do you go the bathroom in the fucking village my girls from you know village and fucking Leyte what how do you where'd he go the bathroom so I did a video check out that video a matter of fact I'll put the link down there bow down other than the script and I fuckin basically show you the conditions in my old lady's village about what you're gonna face if you go to the village anyhow back let's get back to alright what causes what causes traveler's diarrhea what causes you to get a case of fucking runs it just won't go away now there's there's three main causes three cause I see the bacterial it's viral or some protozoa it's a parasite there's no use in getting into all the technical terms because it's fucking irrelevant if you want to know there's a link in my blog over to the CDC's website but if you're sitting on an aircraft you hit some turbulence the fucking seatbelt sign comes on and you got a fucking shit like a goose but you can't because you can't get up you don't give a fuck if it's bacteria protozoa or our fucking bio you don't give a fuck so I'm just gonna skip over that but we go with bacteria I just brush over them real quick what shit like e.coli Shigella salmonella Campylobacter Vibrio and you go or if it's a virus you're looking at like the rotavirus I think that shit's carried by rats Norwalk enterovirus is and the norovirus I think that's the big one on cruise ships like when the whole fucking cruise ship gets sick they all come down with that norovirus don't hold me to that but I think that's what it is and then the third one is protozoa the parasites like Giardia and I chemists say the other two that I've got listed but Giardia is the big one now I've got a personal experience which you already have I was living in Georgia thirty years ago 25 years ago fuck whenever it was maybe 20 I fuck I don't my girlfriend at the time we we had went to the lake that weekend so it was a Saturday or Saturday or Sunday we went into the lake and the leg skin with my buddy Dave on his boat and damn Dave they've dive back in oh wait I missed that motherfucker man shoutout to you brother where you're at I miss you and you know we were on days boat a couple days later I was doing something and my old lady at the time called me and she was like crying and she's like come home my stomach hurts need to go to the hospital well alright tummy hurts whatever side I was sort of shutting my shit down whatever heading back home well when I got home this bitch was in the fetal position on the kitchen floor curled up couldn't fucking move I mean I I'm grossly misunderstood the gravity of what she was trying to tell me I just thought she had a tummy ache whatever you know it's pepto-bismol I'll talk about that later but you know she was so sick I basically had to carrier to the car get her to the fucking hospital and they diagnosed her with having Giardia now you know it's obvious how we got it or how she got it I didn't get it but she got it swimming in the fucking Lake and it did a number on her and I think around the time the same time that happened or years before there was a water park north of Atlanta where a bunch of bunch of people got sick from I think Giardia and might have been one died so I mean it's just some serious serious shit all right there's no pun in no pun intended when I use that it's just the way I talk but Giardia is the big one when you look at the protozoa route all those are gonna call you all those can cause havoc and your digestive system in your intestines and just cause you to shit like a fucking goose all right so how do you how do you get travelers diarrhea how do you get it and let me just keep with my colloquial verbage and my layman's terms make a long story short you probably ate some shit literally it's not a pun that's not a fucking seventh synonym it's not a figure of speech you got it by eating shit you got it by ingesting some fecal e contaminated water some form or fashion got into your body and I'll just give you a few ways that you know the general consensus will tell you and I added a few little personal ideas of mine a little personal flavor about how those little tiny morsels of poop got into your mouth into your system and caused all this fucking have it but it's through the fecal-oral route of ingestion ingestion I call it a shit the mouth right fecal oral are so number one the big one the most common is just by drinking the local tap water and whatever country you've traveled to and the local tap water is its contaminated when you leave the West and again some places in the fucking West you take your ass up to Detroit and drink the fucking tap water up there get you a big big fucking drink of Detroit tap water and tell me tell me how that works out for you but in most places when you leave the West don't even think about drinking from the tap water it's not up to speed it's not it's not potable don't drink from the tap so if you drink from the tap or any of that tap water it gets into your body and we'll talk about the routes okay you're introducing that back tyria that virus or that protozoa into your system okay specific examples brush your teeth using the local tap water okay you go to brush your teeth it's habit you put the fucking toothpaste on there then you run the water just a wet it whatever boom now you've got contamination in your fucking mouth that's it's that easy so a certain little things you don't think about now do I brush my teeth with the local tap water and wash my toothbrush off yes I do but I've lived over here for a long time I travel the world you know my body has a higher than the average person it's it's a higher immune system only because I've been exposed to all this shit so myself and I think a lot of expats as well who live in their respective countries they don't fucking take a bottle of water into the restroom and they brush their teeth they just little things like that they don't they don't fucking worry about it that much now am I gonna take a big a swig of water from the tap hell no but I will fucking brush my teeth with the tap water and wash my toothbrush out if you've never left your home country do not do that you take a bottle of water in there brush your teeth with it don't use the water from the bathroom faucet okay this is a big one you can get it with food service workers who are contaminated with the virus they go into the bathroom on their fucking lunch break wipe their ass and they don't wash their hands they come back out and keep making your fucking bologna sandwich so you're getting in from from a food soup food service worker or not exercising basic hygiene with soap and water after he takes a shit boom now you're eating poop from the guy you accidentally got tiny morsels of that bacteria of that poop on your fucking burrito and now you get sick that's a big one right there by eating foods such as fruits vegetables and lettuce for example washed in the local tap water now do you want your vegetables wash of course okay there's a lot of contaminants on the vegetables to begin with so you do want them washed but if you have never been to that country or you're an infrequent international traveler you're gonna have to stay away from the raw veggies because they washed them in the local tap water you're gonna have to go with vegetables that have been cooked that's just the way it is now you know my situation do I eat raw vegetables do I wash them in the tap water yes but I've lived over here a long time again if I went to you know pick a country I've never been to if I go there and I eat the raw vegetables washed in the tap water I'll probably get a case of the shit's there so you have to be cognizant that stay away from the raw vegetables that have been washed in the tap water because that's another route of introducing it into your body okay under cook food same way and if you've watched my cooking shows I fucking cook everything well done you're not gonna get any motherfucking bacterial virus or protozoa if you eat something from my kitchen my kitchen now I must do my steaks look like fucking charred boot leather absolutely but they're fucking delicious and I promise you you're not gonna get any fucking bug coming out of my kitchen that's the way it is so if you eat undercooked food especially shit like shellfish boom there you go easy a easy way to transmit the bacteria through undercooked food okay what if you just order a drink and it's got ice in it now look okay ice most ice is made by local tap water so boom you're screwed but you know you go to places I've seen it here but not too much but it can't bode yeah you see it all the time they'll take these big-ass huge blocks of ice and there's a dude out there with a fucking circular saw cutting the blocks of ice and these huge blocks of ice are sitting on the pavement they're literally sitting on the pavement of this nasty-ass market this dude goes to cutting on this block with a skill saw and they'll take a big 20 pound block put it in in a fucking motorbike and they'll zoom it over to a restaurant and now they go chipping away that's the fucking ice going in and your drink and we're women a lot of times it's made by local tap water not all I mean there's some ice factories that they filter it it's okay but if you're not careful that ice is made from local tap water and then they fucking threw that shit on the dam dirty ass pavement and went to cutting it with a skill saw you know and and boom you either picked it up from the ground from the fucking sewage running on the ground or you picked it up from the fact that it's it's not filtered water when I talk to spider he said man no one I got I got had because he's careful I said what happened you said we were at the spot he went to get a beer the fucking beer was lukewarm and he said hey can you put that beer back on on ice or back in the freezer well they didn't understand what the fuck he said so what they do they brought him out a fucking glass ice and poured the beer over and I guess he had already had a beer too and he's like yeah fucking went to drink it boom there you go okay the damn ice and the beer got him you have to be cognizant of that orange juice and tea a lot of times are made by local tap water and what Spyder was saying he said man you know you go to these little continental breakfasts at these hotels in the morning you go up meet that little you know that little thing to get the cramp the fake cranberry juice and the fake fucking orange juice right where's that water coming from hooked up to the local fucking tap water and if it is run through a filter folks filters cost money I'm gonna talk about that in a minute but even if if you're at a place and they say oh you know there's a filter on there how often you think they changed us those goddamn filters those filters cost money you leave the West everything is fucking if it costs money there's no shrinkage okay stores over here you know Walmart and have it like $1,000 or shrinking today just basically waste they just write it off you leave the West there's no shrinkage like that okay if that filter needs to be changed in January they're gonna stretch it out the fucking November and then change it till the motherfucker falls apart why it costs money and a lot of places you know it's not money is respected a lot more especially in places where it's not abundant there's not a whole lot of waste so that little little thing with the juice to fake juice to fake cranberry juice and fountain drinks in a convenience store even if it runs through their little local filter on the back of that machine I don't trust it I drink it but you know spider does not because he's very cognizant of it you got to be careful about that so let me recap the obvious ones the local tap water the ice anything that's been washed with the local tap water anything to fucking do with it okay so let me go into some some more specifics here that the CDC is not going to tell you about directly or in a manner that you're gonna fucking remember now I just told you that the way this is transmitted is through contaminated poop right the fecal-oral route shit the mouth you're getting it from water from the guy not washing his hands blah blah blah already covered that how about this okay you can you can get traveler's diarrhea by looking someone's asshole while you're having sexual intercourse ooh that's the fucking Express route that's the motherfucking bullet train bypassed the water system bypassed the fucking waiter who didn't wash his hands bypassed the motherfucking carrots that they washed bypassed the fucking shellfish and the undercooked food and the fucking water in your shower that gets in your mouth it went straight from fucking poop to mouth okay I'm not telling you not to do that I'm not judging anybody I'm just telling you that it is a route of transmission that you can pick up travelers diarrhea if you're licking your partner's asshole they're in a sexual encounter there you go I call that the bullet train all right certainly if they're contaminated you're gonna get what they get okay you can get it by licking in the general vicinity of someone's asshole during sexual intercourse you don't even have to lick direct on that fucking round brown straight on the booty hole if you are within dingleberry range and you're looking around down there there's a good chance you might pick up a morsel of fucking bacteria from a morsel of poop so there you go see you don't think about this shit CDC not gonna tell you this shit they don't know nothing about dingleberry range or goddamn bullet train say you're in a river taxi or you're taking a like a tour like we took in Cambodia on the river over there that's some of the nastiest fucking water you've ever seen in your life when you're looking over looking on over the side and joining the sights water splashes in your face boom there you go it's that simple one little fucking miniature droplet microgram of water in your mouth nose eyes folks you can pick it up so if you're on these River taxis or on these little fucking tours you know and if you're out on the open fucking ocean well maybe not but if you're in Cambodia on one of those those tours if you're taking a river taxi up and down the rivers in Bangkok it's highly contaminated you don't want that water splashing in your face you're gonna end up with the with the fucking shits that kind of learning inadvertently cover this one but if you open your big fucking mouth while you're taking a shower you rinse them your fucking mouth out well boom there you go you're contaminated now look you can get traveler's diarrhea in any country most industrialized areas like the West they're considered low-risk and then you know you go up to you know the next tier of countries and then the highest risk or you know Central America Southeast Asia you know the tropics then you're in high-risk areas right but you know don't don't just don't just think it's it's it's outside of your home country these bacteria that the viruses they live everywhere so again if I went to Detroit I would not drink the fucking tap water up there they got so many fucking infrastructure problems up there he'll know I wouldn't drink the goddamn tap water in Detroit I'd rather fucking drink from a goddamn canal the damn river here close to my spot here in the Philippines before I went to Detroit and drink that shit but it's pretty certain you're from the West you go to the tropics you drink the water boom you're gonna be in that 50% that fucking gets travelers diarrhea alright so when I talked about you know expats and their respective countries you know the expats usually build up a tolerance you know the locals have a tolerance because they've been around these these antigens these uh you know these bugs I lost my my word up come on the West starts with a P pathogens they've been around these pathogens their whole life so their bodies have devolved with it I've spent enough time here that my body has evolved where I don't get sick from the basic stuff but let me let me show you something to illustrate this about tolerance levels okay here in the Philippines every everywhere I go you will see kids grown men either fishing or swimming and these contaminated rivers of shit now over in Olongapo you know the sailors and Marines used to call that river over there shit River and there'd be kids swimming in it my buddy said you know back in the day when they cross the river and throw coins to the kids and the kids would catch the coins or they would dive down and get them and my one buddy said I mean I can't remember your name I have to look at my email which we talked several times but he was saying when he when he first got here you know young man back in the 80s he felt really sorry for these kids and somebody said hey man if you don't throw him the coins you know they can't fucking buy rice for her families throw your fucking coins in there they're already in the fucking water give him some money and you still see that not cuz they're chasin coins these days but because they're fishing or playing or whatever and they're literally in slow-moving rivers of shit cesspools their immune systems aren't pervious to it because they fucking been swimming in that shit since and bathing in and since they were infants if you or I would jump off into some of these shit rivers here in the Philippines we'd be fucking dead in a matter of days I don't think we will make it there's not enough antibiotics in the fucking pharmacy to save a couple white dude's women somewhere that the locals have been swimming their entire life and slowly built up those tolerances so again if you're going to a country you've never been to if you're a first-time traveler your immune system is about to go to war against some shit it never even knew existed and that's just the way it is okay is it contagious yes travelers diarrhea is contagious you know just illustrated that by what we just talked about some of the pathogens responsible they can actually live outside the body and on surfaces that you'd never think about for hours or even days so every time you touch a handrail on an escalator you touch a door handle walking into the hotel you touch a faucet and a bathroom money touching some money a menu at a restaurant a seat belt on an airplane the buttons on an elevator the keypad or screen at an ATM machine or if you open the door to a taxi okay you're potentially being exposed to these pathogens so it's the same risk as if you just shook came with a stranger who just wiped his ass and got up off the toilet now look your skin is a great defense mechanism right as long as you don't have any cuts your skin can can can basically you know fend off a lot of things if you have a cut well then you you just opened open yourself up but if you if you touch these surfaces and I know this I know I'm being Captain Obvious but a lot of people just don't think about this you touch these surfaces you hit a button on the elevator 20 people touch that within the past hour okay and then you go to sneeze or cough and you cover your face and you touch your mouth and those your eyes boom okay you've just introduced that pathogen into your system now yeah you can carry you know this alcohol gel like those fiber carries but he can't bust that shit out you can't touch the button but bust it out open the door or bust it out no so what do you have to do you have to be cognizant don't touch my face okay damn sure if you're a nail biter don't be fucking biting your nails you have to be cognizant don't touch my face don't you know I don't need to be nail biting I don't need to be putting my hands and around in and around or near any mucous membrane where these pathogens can be introduced to my body all right what's the symptoms what's the symptoms of traveler's diarrhea now again if you go the CDC website I'm gonna read you the common signs and symptoms and then I'm gonna go over some more to tell all right so I just I said what what is the travelers diarrhea well I said it's a bad case of the shit's it just won't go away it don't go away after a couple days three days four days it's not a natural case of the rooms because you ate a fucking big bean spicy burrito so it's a bad case of the shit's that just is not going away on its own you're gonna have a fever body aches and sweats abdominal cramps and you'll be shitting like a goose if you shit more than 13 times per day you probably got traveler's diarrhea okay if you've got a case of what's called the landline shits now the landline shits is when the second your ass cheeks touched the toilet seat the toilet bowl whatever toilet seat your asshole explodes you know it's one of those where you barely make it to the damn bathroom before you just blow it out and call them a landline shits all right dehydration you know if you're shitting so much that you're physically dehydrated alrights probably not a normal cases of diarrhea you got something going on if you shit your pants if you're a grown adult and you shit your pants that's a pretty good indicator that you might be suffering from travelers diarrhea if you shit in the bed then that's an even better indicator okay you wake up you shit all shit all over yourself you may have traveler's diarrhea if you have to shit less than 32 seconds after eating solid food if it goes through that quick that's another indicator if you're curled up in the fetal position from severe shit pains and can't leave the bathroom floor that's not a normal case of diarrhea there's something going on there just like my old lady you know curled up on the floor of our kitchen could not get up I mean all she could do is put that phone call in to me and she couldn't leave the fucking floor I mean she was a bad shape she was in bad shape and and then Giardia that's no joke you need to catch it early you need to start treating it that she can kill you I mean all this stuff came but Jordy ain't nothing to play with and that's what she had from the leap if you end up having to use your socks to wipe your ass after an entire roll of toilet paper can't accomplish the mission all right maybe there's something more serious going on all right so say you're watching this video and you're you're in I don't know where you're at you're in Colombia you're in fucking Cambodia you're in a small island somewhere and you've got the shits and so what what are we doing these days right whenever we get sick what do we do we go to doctor fucking Google check dr. Google typing all this shit and see what comes up so you've never been to you know Mexico before you're down there and I don't even know where people go in Mexico these days let me just let me just throw Cancun I guess people are still going to Cancun you're in Cancun and you had a great time for three days you're three days into a 10-day trip and you're sitting there and you feel like you're about to fucking die so you check dr. Google and for some reason you land on my video now you're listening to my words well if you if you're in that condition you you're not going anywhere so you might as well just follow through the rest of this video but let me tell you what to do okay how do you diagnose traveler's diarrhea what to do what do you do even if you're in Mexico and you're in some small town or whatever you're at get over to the local hospital it's that simple all right bite the bullet realize that you're gonna have to pay a little bit of money and head over to the local hospital okay they're gonna ask you for the stool sample and they're gonna draw blood now if you're here in Southeast Asia the bill is fucking pennies don't be scared to go to the hospital because of the bill in America certainly be scared you go to the hospital you're not getting out of that mercy room visit for no less than three grand now your debt for the rest of your fucking life folks Dennis went the other day and got a chest x-ray for like eight bucks so if you're any in any of these places don't worry about the cost the cost is fucking pennies on the dollar in most places so start out at the hospital go in there and just tell them you know I think this is what I've got I've fucking been here three days tell them the story they've seen it before they're used to dealing with you know tourists every now and then when I ask spiders doctor he said yeah had about five or six cases in the past few months foreigners coming in here same thing travelers diarrhea okay but the reason you want to go to the hospital don't trust fucking doctor Google okay you may be having a fucking acute appendicitis and could fucking die and you check dr. Google and you listen to my fucking video and you convince yourself that it's just traveler's diarrhea in two days later you're dead in the fucking hotel room don't be stupid okay use this video as an educational tool and for entertainment but if you've got something going on start by going fucking Hospital don't wait till the next day and make an appointment go to the fucking emergency room simple let let the hospital no matter how rudimentary they may be rule out something more severe like it you know an acute appendicitis or whatever they're gonna tell you start there alright so we talked about the stool sample and I go over the instructions here I think I've already covered them right you know when you go the stool sample shit in the fucking cup don't get any toilet water don't get any faucet water in there you know put the little and tie it then wash it off and drop it off at the nurse's station right and again before you go if you're going to the hospital the local hospital take you a roll of ship paper from the fucking hotel maybe a big bottle of water and a bar soap put a bar soap in your pocket a roll of toilet paper if you got access to some wet wipes you know go in there prepared to wipe your ass and clean up after yourself in case you find yourself in a bathroom you know same spider here in the Philippines and folks um and I'm not saying anything bad about that hospital yes it's on them but this is just the way things are done here it's the way things are done in a lot of parts a lot of places in the world they're it's they just don't look at it like it's our responsibility to provide you with shit paper that's your responsibility you want a shit paper go buy it and you wipe your ass with it it's just a different way of doing things so if you go to the hospital you're sitting there in Mexico laid up in the hotel room in Cancun right now watching my video okay pack your bag with some shit paper big old bottle water bar soap and head on down to the hospital they're gonna do a blood test if they have a lab if you're on some little tiny island and you end up at a hospital that doesn't have a lab I'll talk about that in a second but they're gonna want a blood test folks in other parts of the world they may come out to draw blood and they're not wearing fucking rubber gloves welcome to the real world rubber gloves cost money not every hospital you go to they're gonna be wearing rubber gloves that's just the way it is some people are gonna be freaked the fuck out by that by some guy using the needle to draw blood and he's not wearing gloves now I will say that you know more and more hospitals are getting better you know it seems like you know in recent times like the doctor the nurse won't wear gloves but the phlebotomist the person who is going to draw blood she will wear gloves however don't depend on that so if you go in there somebody comes in to draw blood you know from the West we freaked the fuck out but it's just the way it is you know I went to I went to get some blood tests one time a couple years back a girl who drew blood wasn't wearing fucking rubber gloves you know so just throw that out there and it's your health you can decide hey you're not going to draw blood unless you're wearing gloves whatever but if they don't got fucking gloves in the damn clinic or tee what the fuck you gonna do yeah I don't want an iPhone on the floor all right you're gonna draw blood you're gonna get the stool sample sent to the lab it's gonna come back so they say all right you got traveler's diarrhea what's next some type of antibiotic and em antibiotics or basically the definitive cure for most of this if you're any type of competent clinic they're gonna prescribe some type of antibiotic now the type of antibiotic isn't going to depend on what they think you have and also in what country you're in because if you're in this country they're used to giving out this antibiotic it's typically what they do you go to countries over they give you a different antibiotic because that's what they're they're used to doing so just kind of familiar self with familiarize yourself with some of the names you know doxycycline let's see what we got back from sepra cipro ofloxacin zithromax and I just copied and pasted a list right there but when you're in there if you're sitting in your room just just familiarize yourself with what they prescribed locally so when these you know they throw that at you you're like okay yeah I've already read about that I know here in Cancun they're typically prescribed whatever all right get the antibiotic take it as the doctor tells you but here's where I throw you a curve don't trust the diagnosis and don't trust the antibiotic now a lot of folks are gonna hit me because I just said that but when it comes to your health you have to be sure and I want to clarify and explain my statement so you don't think I'm just the fucking Ugly American alright I'm far from it I'm not a fucking elitist this has nothing to do with me being an American saying that you know only our healthcare system is right I'm not saying that I matter of fact I haven't seen an American doctor in 10 fucking years but what I'm doing I'm here giving you the the infrequent traveler the first time traveler the guy down in Mexico curled up in the fetal position because he doesn't know what's going on this video is for you you know is it's the guy or gal from Kansas I don't want I want you to take their diagnosis in their prognosis and antibiotics with a grain of salt and don't trust it you probably have health insurance back in the West I'm sure you do some form or fashion and so you go with what the locals tell you you know if they just say hey you have this they prescribe an antibiotic that's pretty safe as long as you're not allergic to antibiotics get the antibiotic take it as prescribed hopefully it solves a problem but if you go back home to your home country and you have an insurance policy an insurance plan I want you to go get checked out again and tell the doctor exactly what happened what they prescribed and now let's start over let's trust but verify what the locals told you if you're at a small hospital and they don't have a lab the doctors aren't guessing they're there looking at your signs and symptoms and they're making an educated guess off of what's probable but I'm gonna submit to you that without lab results they have no fucking idea what's going on with you they're making a best best guess prognosis from what you probably have it really can't go wrong by prescribing some antibiotics but when you go home I want you to go to your doctor and get checked out again all right so let me let me continue on with my thoughts on this right everybody has their opinion everybody everybody has their own experiences their own opinion I've been all over Southeast Asia if I'm in Thailand and I go to Bangkok hospital I trust them okay in Thailand I trust most of the pharmacies I've never been sold any less than authentic medications in Thailand I've never received any crazy fucking medical advice in Thailand I trust Thailand now I'm not saying there are not good hospitals in the Philippines Cambodia Laos Vietnam I'm not saying that but I'm saying as a whole my trust and my comfort level is in Thailand I do not trust the hospitals pretty much anywhere else until they they fucking prove to me that they're competent now that's my personal opinion yes you know we you know we've had a baby here at a hospital in the Philippines everything was was was good to go but I would single that one out as a go-to place I'm not I'm not blanket I'm not gonna trust anymore cuz I've been in some hospitals here in Lao and Cambodia that it's like stepping back in time 50 fucking years so what I tell people is this if you get sick in Cambodia Laos Vietnam Myanmar you need to make it to Thailand you need to get to Thailand and then you're gonna live and that's just the way it is you don't need to get all the way back to England you need to get to Thailand as long as you can make it to Thailand you're gonna live that's my personal opinion so if I you know if I got sick in Siem Reap I would I'd be on a fucking Express to the Thai border just get me across the fucking border give me a tile in and I'll roll I'll take my chances there because I trust the system okay so let's talk about you get sick on some small island you go to their hospital there's no lab there's no advanced cardiac life support it's basically a fucking first-aid station yeah they have a pharmacy yeah the doctor can prescribe stuff but you're basically going to the first-aid station and the doctors is going off of the best knowledge that he has your signs and symptoms he's not going off a lab tests that's a very subjective in other words opinionated evaluation you need some motherfucking no shit lab results that are objective that don't lie all right if you buy medication from a small pharmacy off the beaten path don't trust it now I'm not saying that the meds are fake although you should always have that in the back of your mind because there are counterfeit medications floating around in areas like Central America and Southeast Asia you need to have that in your mind but I'm not automatically saying that every pharmacy is gonna sell you some fake shit that's not what I'm saying but I've already planted that seed in your mind so mission accomplished there are fake meds rolling around that's possible but what's more probable that you have to pay attention to is that you know some of the drugs if some of these pharmacies may have been manufactured at a less than reputable form pharmaceutical company in China you know they got them cheap to try to make a bigger spread maybe the the meds are expired you know they're not gonna fucking get rid of them they're gonna try to skew the expiration date because there's no shrinkage here it's money or they haven't been stored properly this is the tropics okay it's fucking hot here most of the time some meds even if they have a three year shelf life and they've been stored and the goddamn fucking sunlight beating down every day there they end up being combat ineffective they don't work and and maybe there's no malicious intent it's just that they sell them to you and for whatever reason they're there they don't work so I don't trust them and I'll tell you a story in a little bit oh let me just tell it right now because this has pertinence about why you should start out at the hospital folks in a lot of countries you cannot walk into the pharmacy and just buy antibiotics now here in the Philippines you used to be able to but now there's strict about it you have to have a doctor's prescription to buy antibiotics so it was late one night I needed some antibiotics and folks there's no bullshit on my channels list I caught the clap I caught the clap I knew I had to clap it was late at night I didn't want to wait till the next day I went on the hunt for some fucking antibiotics I can't remember how many pharmacies I went to but I went to fucking several nobody would sell me the antibiotics the last pharmacy I went to it was late at night it was kind of secluded and the girls holding to me she told me some doxycycline towels I took him folks I've taken enough toxins in my day I know what doc sees do to my body he did nothing usually they upset my stomach I mean I know the feeling and no high labored these doxies were fucking dead they did nothing for me luckily a couple days later I was back in Bangkok I fucking went straight to the pharmacy in the airport got the dachsies popped one right there in front of the pharmacist and boom it went to work went to work on the problem and I knew that that was real because I know what doc sees due to my system I know my fucking you know I'm highly experienced and taking doxycycline tablets but the moral the story was I spent all night bebop and bebop in the pharmacies because I didn't have a form of a prescription and the one that sold it to me sold me some fucking shit that was ineffective so you have to start out at the hospital because a lot of these countries are following suit with the West you have to have a prescription that's another reason you might as well start there get the fucking prescription and then BOOM go buy it at the most reputable place you can buy it from ok but again don't trust their diagnosis don't trust the MS and if you're gonna fly them back to fucking wherever you know the u.s. the UK Sweden wherever you're going back to go to your doctor and your health care system get evaluated again and make sure you don't have some exotic fucking tapeworm you know 80 feet long growing in your and your fucking small intestines and again you you know those cases are rare but why take the chance that's what you pay for health insurance for back in your home country okay so treatment number one you go to the hospital treatment number one they're gonna gonna prescribe some antibiotics number two they're gonna tell you to hydrate they told spider to drink that Pocari sweat whatever actually wrote it on a prescription it was funny whatever personally the way I hydrate when you know my asshole was Dublin as a fucking water hose I can't stop it I drink a Gatorade and then a beer that's what I do but the doc here told him to drink Pocari sweat where is called our pepto-bismol and imodium they may prescribe that but folks understand that Pepto Bismol imodium or not they're not dealing with the underlying problem and my analogy is it's like giving somebody an aspirin for a headache caused by meningitis okay all you're doing is trying to mask the symptoms you're not dealing with meningitis pepto-bismol and imodium are not fucking combat effective against the bacteria the virus and the protozoa causing havoc in your system now you know if you come home one night from eating Mexican food and drinking margaritas by all means get some Pepto Bismol imodium it'll make your tummy feel better the pepto-bismol and imodium are not gonna fucking win a battle against any of these you know the these pathogens that are wrecking havoc on your immune system so I don't waste my fucking time on pepto-bismol and fucking imodium that's just that's just to make your tummy feel better that's all it is okay so there you go antibiotics hydrate and then when you get back home follow up with your your normal daughter daughter but your dog doctor now folks what cameras beep in here cuz I think I'm about to run on storage space so I'm gonna take a break and I'll be right back with you that's fucking a move all right folks all right where were we no Jimmy microphone here I think I'm good audio levels look good let me just say word about my everybody knows I love these Yeti cups that my mom sent me please shout out to my mom how you doing hope you had a good day and thanks again for sending me these Yeti cups folks a big a big thing about having one of these Yeti cups here and you know a tropical climate is that the number one to keep your shit cold the number two they don't sweat so you know pick up a normal glass I sweat all over the iPad the damn camera the audio equipment but since my mom sent these Yeti cups I can sit here in journey and quantum working while I'm on the laptop while I'm talking to a camera and I'm not dripping fucking sweat condensation everywhere so yetis if you're in the tropics you got to have a Yeti mm no they're not paying me to say that [Applause] let me get a fucking something like a Letty a Yeti my point is if I'm holding a regular glass it's just sweating water everywhere because the humidity all over my electronic equipment so that's why that's all that drink out of is Yeti these days all right we're worried tired the prevention of travelers diarrhea folks this is the important part I mean the best way to deal with a lot of things a lot of negative things is to not deal with them in the first place right not have to deal with them so prevention is the name of the game here and these some these are some things you can do you know to minimize your risk of getting travelers diarrhea getting a bad case of the shit's in a wine on vacation alright number one don't do stupid shit while traveling okay there you go right there just don't do incredibly stupid shit that's basically gonna seal your fate to pick up something and then it's gonna ruin the rest of your fucking vacation for example if you get it wrong and you let somebody talk to you eating a fucking big ol raw chunk a warm asshole from a goddamn water buffalo that the locals just killed well you fucking deserve to get a case of the rooms okay that that's one time I stupid shit again I think who this video is important to is the first time traveler the infrequent traveler the guy or gal who is not you know a seasoned world traveler don't your stomach is not going to be able to handle what the locals can handle your immune system doesn't have the same tolerance that the locals have so if they go over there and kill the water buffalo you know and rip out or a fucking cow and they rip out a raw piece of meat and want you to eat it you gotta weigh it you gotta weigh you know the situation the moment you don't want to offend anybody obviously but if you know that you're prone to getting sick if you fucking get sick when you go to the goddamn local Mexican restaurant back in your hometown and Kansas don't eat that fucking steaming goddamn slice of Buffalo asshole you're gonna get sick don't eat that fucking kidney or that heart or wherever the fuck they pull out or just a raw slice of meat that's stupid you're gonna get sick you're gonna ruin your fucking vacation on date three just like Spyder was talking about so here in the Philippines there's a thing called by LeWitt and what it is it's a baby duck egg it's a duck egg and they incubate it for various amounts of time now the one that I ate it was an 18-day it could be it had been incubating for eighteen days now for reference the damn things hatch at like 28 days they stop the incubation they boil it they serve it up no when you pop the top on this jackass I don't know why that term come to mind I've been drinking but when you pop the top on that below it you're looking down at a fucking a adduct fetus they call that the CCO now the ladies won't eat the actual baby duck they eat the the rest of it you know the yolk though the rest of it then resembles a fucking hard-boiled egg but if you're a male you just take that motherfucker in three bites Chomp Chomp Chomp or the first bite you're looking at a fucking beak and a head and eyes you eat that motherfucker then you're looking at goddamn feathers and eat that shit then the last bite I guess you're eating the fucking damn feet now I'm not saying that that will necessarily get you sick it is boiled but what if it's not boiled enough or boiled properly now your ass is eating an 18-day duck embryo and every other piece of fucking bacteria that's in there you don't think you're not gonna get sick why take the chance if if I save my money for an entire year so I could spend two weeks vacation and I got two three thousand dollars invested I'm not taking that I'm gonna have fun but I'm not gonna do something stupid that there's a 98% chance it's gonna fuck up the rest of my vacation especially if I've got a sensitive stomach especially if I'm prone to getting sick all the time and that's just a perfect example of doing stupid shit now if you got a stomach of fucking iron and you can eat pretty much anything will by all means fucking chow down on the balut but if you got a sensitive stomach don't fucking touch that shit just politely decline you know if you really want to try some of the local delicacies we're not waiting towards the till the end of your trip that way if you fucking get sick on the plane going back alright no problem you're back at home you fucking sit on the shitter calling sick extend your vacation and recover from the comfort of your own house and your shitter but these are things to think about now I did something stupid in Guatemala and it put hurting on me it's about ten years ago somewhere around here in Guatemala and I mean that j-dog went to this little local restaurant you know and when you pick out a local restaurants I mean the general okay if the locals are eating there and there's a lot of locals eating there it's probably pretty safe for you to eat there especially if there's a lot of locals the food it's a turnover it's like any restaurant you won't you don't want to go to a restaurant where there's no people you don't know how long they've kept that food in the fucking freezer they're trying to make a profit there go to a restaurant that's popular there turn it over customers or turn it over their stock and you should be okay we go this restaurant a little small restaurant and order some tacos I can't remember what it was I'm off to the right there were these three vats and when I say vats I mean they were I mean they were like eight inches in diameter or like I mean they were probably twelve inches tall and they were dips different types of dips and so you're talking shit probably at least a gallon two gallons worth of dip and each one of these bats you know a cylindrical shaped bat and j-dog takes a look over there and he's like oh shit dude that shit oh hell no dude that shit any safe man that's just been sitting there for days don't touch that shit that's just fucking poison I mean he went on on so I went over there and of course I really like fucking dip I like to try new dips and there was one that looks sort of like a cheese dip and the other two were different you know like to dip you get you know tomato tomato onion type and there was one more I can't remember but I remember the one with like the cheese type sauce on the top it had a bottle about a one-inch congealed just glob of goop on top and the whole time the j-dog is protesting man don't eat that shit dude you're gonna get sick don't don't and shit I fuck I'd had a couple beers I'm like ah fuck it yeah so I took that spoon I scraped back that one inch layer of congeal nastiness and there's flies around this motherfucker and I skip way down in the bottom come up with a scoop full of this cheese just and I don't even know what it was cheese sauce like substance maybe it was goat cheese I don't fucking know I poured that shit all over my tacos my my plate I scooped down in the bottom of the others I'm like I pulled from the bottom you know the folks within 48 hours I was I was fucked up typical travelers diarrhea I was fucked up I couldn't leave the shitter every time I ripped the fart I mean it fumigated this entire a little small hotel we were in it was fucking horrible it was fucking miserable I I was miserable everybody around me was miserable those three vats of dip which they had to have been sitting out there I mean they were obviously they were sitting there all day they were probably left over from two or three days ago when they made them there's no telling what was growing in that shit and looking back okay I violated the principle that I just told you I said you know go places where the locals are where the food is turning over right well when I stepped up to the plate with that dip I should have known that since there was a inch layer of fucking congealed fucking mush nastiness it should have told me hey man the locals aren't eating this shit the locals were eating it it wouldn't have been full it was mud they were mostly full if the locals are eating it number one it wouldn't have been full number two there wouldn't been that big congeal fucking days old crust like the Earth's motherfucking mantle on top of this shit but you know again I was drinking fucking guy yo beer didn't really matter at the time to me too much I should have listened to the j-dog he was right and so that shit fucked me up and it fucked me up to the point that when I got back to California I couldn't shake it and I've never been in that situation before I don't you know usually don't get sick I couldn't shake it and end up at the emergency room and basically what you know what I was described blood test stool sample and you know comes back you you've got I don't know exactly what I had but you know I had a fucking gamut of shit going on and I was you know I was kind of scared I was kind of concerned because I'm like you know it's what the fuck is something going on I thought it was something worse like a tapeworm you know these nightmare stories and it wasn't they hooked me up with some antibiotics I think an injection and within a few days I was good to go and learned a lesson and so that's what I'm talking about stupid shit stupid unnecessary shit while traveling that will you know fuck up your fuck up your vacation so if you really want to try the balloon this fucking wait to the last day try the fucking balloon and if you get a case of shit you're back home that's what I would do that's what I'll do now there anything is questionable it's really gonna fuck me up I was fucking wait to the last day and I'll go on a fucking sampling trip and if it hits me on the fucking plane well fucking so be it you know this is Captain Obvious but this is the part that you really need to pay attention to because this is the prevention it's taking basic precautions that a lot of times it just you just don't think about right but it's basic I've already talked about don't drink the local tap water don't brush your teeth don't trust ice to let anybody put ice in your fucking glass ice means tap water be wary of juice especially from those little juice machines at the little breakfast in the morning at the hotels smoothies and frozen drinks they contain ice all right same drill okay don't trust or buy water from a guy walking in and out of traffic okay I don't care if there's no air conditioning in your taxi it's a hundred and fucking ten degrees out it's dusty you know you haven't had anything to drink and fucking two hours of trying to get through this traffic and Mumbai Manila wherever the hell you're at traffic's at a standstill here comes a dude walking in and out of traffic selling bottles of water maybe your driver buys one I'm gonna advise you to never buy bottled water from that guy walking in and out of traffic and this is airing on the safe side why a lot of these guys walking out of traffic are homeless they're living on the streets they're doing whatever anything and everything they can to survive okay you don't think they won't take a bottle of water or fill that shit up with tap water and screw the thing back when they're tight or maybe even put a couple drops of superglue folks they're in survival mode that's why they're walking in and out of traffic and 100 fucking degree weather you really want to trust that bottled water that's up to you but I'm not going to my heart goes out to I appreciate their hustle I'm not fuckin buying water from the guy walking in and out of traffic in any fucking country if I go to New York City I'm not buying fucking water from the dude walking in and out of traffic fuck that why am I gonna take a risk with my life you know it's not it's not happening so the possibilities I'm not even gonna say probability but possibility fills it up with tap water puts the fucking lid on the lid back on right this applies to some little small shady a store if you're buying water there it's the only place available you better inspect the fuck out of that water bottle and make sure they didn't glue that shit back down look at that water let's make sure it's crystal clear or don't buy it from there buy it from a reputable a bigger store but be wary just because you're buying bottled water question is that fucking straight-up bottled water or is it a fucking recycle plastic bottle this fucking dude dug out of the trash can because he's trying to hustle okay I think one of the biggest reasons I don't get sick while traveling because I drink beer you want a precaution drink fucking beer you got risking juice drinks with ice mixed drinks smoothies all this shit right bottled water being fucking refill with tap water drink fucking beer there's little to no risk and drinking beer as long as it's a fucking authentic beer okay now if you want to split hairs say you have a can of bottle or draft if you go with the draft maybe there's fucking bacteria growing in that that fucking tap they haven't cleaned it properly it's not the beer itself but maybe it's the equipment if you order a bottle a lot of times in these border towns you shady-ass low areas they'll bring the bottle to your table and they'll open it right in front of you just to show you that hey you know there's no those shenanigans going on right but how many times have I been in a bar or somebody the waitress bought the guy brought the guy the wrong beer he's like no no no I that's a Heineken I ordered a fucking saying me what do you think they're gonna do that Heineken you think they're just gonna fucking pour that out and lose that 50 pesos hell no there's no fucking shrinkage here somebody's gonna pay for that the waitress if she made a mistake she's gonna fucking pay for that she's gonna eat that money so you know what happens to the fucking beer in a lot of places that cap goes right back on that fuckin beer it goes right back into the fucking cooler and then the next guy that orders it they're gonna pop that top right in front of him and he's not gonna know the difference that that fucking cap was open for 15 minutes while they're sitting there arguing over you know what the guy fucking really order so if I'm in the shadiest of the shadiest of the shadiest of fucking places give me a beer and a fucking can that's hard to fucking fake when you open a beer to can it's hard to fucking fake that make that can go back they're not gonna do it so you want to really split hairs you want to keep from getting sick off the fucking water the bottled water that might be fucking ill you know not legitimate fucking drink beer that's exactly what I do that's why I rarely get sick because of waterborne illnesses I'm fucking drinking beer if I can get it from a can you know I know there's nothing to worry about all right see you see how this shit works CDC ain't gonna tell you to fucking drink beer from the can they don't fucking know about this shit and everything thought about this fuckin educating the goddamn CDC even if even if a waiter waitress brings a bottle to your table and pops the top you don't know that she didn't just put fuckin you know thousand milligrams a fuckin ketamine in there put the cap back on a bottle you just go poop it looks like it was never open you try that shit what it can that's right you fallin for no bananas in the tailpipe okay look only eat food that's cooked we've already covered this okay raw vegetables yeah healthy and delicious but you're taking a chance the same thing especially lettuce salad bars look I love a good salad bar you don't see him much over here in this region but if I do see a salad bar I'm gonna tear that motherfucker up cuz I just don't see him that often you know lettuce here and the full ping is expensive at least in my experience it is and it's just you know back to the states I was eating lettuce salads all the time here it's very infrequent so if I'm staying in a hotel they have this little salad bar at the breakfast in the morning I tear it up you the infrequent traveler or who have never traveled before you're looking at a lot of tap water that washed everything from the lettuce to the carrots to everything that's on that that salad bar so eat vegetables are cooked eat fruits that you personally peel or you watch them peel because if it's on the salad bar they've been cut they've been washed boom you're right back to square one they got tap water on wash your hands frequently carried that little alcohol gel stuff like spider totes around okay if you open one door out in the public it's like you just shook hands with 30 people who didn't wash their hands with soap after taking a shit you don't believe me go to a public restroom in this country well a lot of country but I just happen to be in full penis go to public restroom show me a fucking bar soap don't worry how weak and most you ain't gonna fucking find the soap in there you might see a soap dispenser but that sumbitch ain't had soap in it since it was put in most places there's no fucking soap so even if the dude wants to wash his hands he's not washing his hands with soap no he's touching the fucking door to 7-eleven now you're touching the door wash your hands frequently and keep them out of your face damn sure if you're a nail biter you got a habit of biting your fucking nails you don't do that shit don't do that shit when you're in the tropics or you know Central America spots like like that don't don't be buying your fucking nails if you're riding on a riverboat we've talked about this don't don't get water in your face and your mouth sit in board yeah the outboard is better for the for viewing and photography taking facebook photos but if you're sitting outboard you know along the edge of the boat where you can see things you're gonna be more likely to get water splashed in your face how do you mitigate that you sit in board set up top you sit in board whatever so you don't get the water spray from the the contaminated water in the river filtered water does not always mean safe drinking water the filters use these little refilling stations folks again they cost money in a lot of places it's easier to just pay off the the inspector than just go buy these new filters right so the filters are supposed to last three months they might run these motherfuckers for a year so even the filtered water is is not up to standard I'm not saying everybody but you know if you've got a choice of you know putting money in your pocket and buying rice this month or changing out the filters when they're supposed to be changed what do you think people are gonna do so filtered water doesn't always mean safe drinking water and you you got to be wary of that as well all right back to you know you're traveling you're drinking you're having a good time especially if you're single you know when you're traveling hell you're trying to get laid like anybody else whether you're a man or a woman all right if you're traveling it's just general fucking great advice goddamn make sure you wear a condom make sure you wear a condom and maybe you want to abstain from oral sex now yeah yeah I can't believe I'm giving that fucking advice right this is one of those where just do as I say don't do as I do but the topic of this video is about traveler's diarrhea so I'm on point about telling you how to avoid it right that's the topic of the video travelers diarrhea everything about it and how not to get it so you know if you're gonna you know sleep with some strange fucking ladies or dudes or whoever might want to go ahead and wear a condom especially if you're on an off the beaten path in the tropics and you know if you'd like to lick fucking assholes by all means drive on but realize you know you may be getting that bullet train that travelers diarrhea it's an oral fecal Express route be careful when licking them booty holes all right don't carry on a conversation with your with your significant other when you're taking a shower if they're fucking sitting there shaving and you're in the shower don't be talking back and forth about what you're gonna eat for fucking breakfast cuz water just run in your mouth come on we'll just lay back a fucking let the damn shower head you know fucking do the old Waterpik treatment on your teeth get in the shower close your fucking mouth take a shower and limit the amount of fucking shower water that you end up in your mouth all right take a shower shut the fuck up you can talk when you get out should dry it off alright focus on what you've got going on the task at hand are these basic precautions I just talked about and there's several more but those are the basic things that that I can think of right off hand are they 100% guaranteed to prevent you from becoming that 25 to 50 percent of international travelers who get sick from you know with travelers diarrhea well no nothing's 100% but if you implement all those that are careful I would say they fucking they at least decrease your chances by 80% they have to ok little stupid shit again don't forget a spider got had because he fucked around let him put ice and his goddamn beard okay it's rookie fucking mistake but after you've had a few beers you will make rookie mistakes now this one here before you leave talk to your doctor about preventive or prophylactic medication now I'm not here giving advice and I don't take anything I don't take any medication on a daily basis I don't take anything preventive ly prophylactically but talk to your doctor in your home country tell them where you're going tell them how long you're gonna be gone and see if they want to prescribe anything preventive and maybe they don't maybe they're totally against this but when I went to Afghanistan everybody from the US and went to Afghanistan had to get a prescription for doxycycline and I think you were required to have 365 those motherfuckers when you left you were supposed to take one 100 milligram tablet per day for 30 days before you went there one a day every day you were there and then one a day for 30 days after you left and weren't coming back and it was anti malarial because malaria was a possibility there you know I started taking it but the dachsies just made my stomach feel queasy and so I stopped taking it I just said fucking I'm gonna taking this shit but there were like a dozen people on on the farm that I was on that ended up with malaria and when they got to the bottom of it every one of them had done the same shit that I did they just quit taking their dachsies now I guess I you know I got lucky what-have-you but but but those folks you know they they end up catching it cuz they didn't take the anti malarial regime which was one doc see a day so talk to your doctor about that depending on where you're going maybe he says yeah you know there's there's a malaria in that region and I'm gonna I'm gonna I am going to prescribe you know doc see one a day or maybe he's got some more immunizations that that he recommends you take so if your if your own doc see one doc see a day as an anti-malarial agent it's also going to knock out you know most forms of traveler's diarrhea I would say not the viral but the bacterial is definitely gonna help you out so just talk to your doctor about that see what they say and this is one of those that I I don't exercise that but I was introduced to it when I went to Afghanistan I was supposed to take I was supposed to take one doc see a date for the malaria threat but I just it's dead do it okay so no matter what your doctor says and go over this part with them as well but I recommend if if you're traveling off the beaten path especially if you're island hopping you need to arm yourself with some emergency medications okay someone tell you when I'm warm with at all times I don't fuck around anymore anytime I throw a backpack on I guarantee you my emergency medication kit is in is in that backpack it's like a fucking American Express card I don't leave home without it I have no I'm armed at all times no less than 30 tablets of doxycycline 100 milligram taps I don't go anywhere without at least 30 and I'm armed with at least one z-pak now the z-pak has six tablets they're 250 milligrams tabs it's a z-pack is short for zithromax it's a zipper myosin so everywhere I go I'm rockin Doc Seasons it throw I don't go any fucking we're off the beaten path matter of fact I don't I don't travel anywhere without that dad is my lifeline my my backup plan it's my first aid kit for world travel I don't carry fucking band-aids I don't carry fucking aspirin or Tylenol paracetamol little things of gauze Dramamine motions I don't carry none that fucker bullshit that's all just fucking let's just push the shit anyhow alright if you want to carry to make yourself feel better that's fine I'm not gonna call you a pussy but that's pussy ass shit okay if I get fucking stranded on a goddamn deserted tropical island after a plane crash like old Tom Hanks give me one one fucking one fucking item that's my emergency medication kit which consists of doxycycline and zithromax you can keep your fucking Swiss Army knife you got them signaling mirror you're your firestarter what else your fucking paracord bracelet okay you can you can keep all that shit long as I'm armed with 30 fucking doxycycline and a z-pack I promise you I will live longer than you I don't need no fishing line no fucking fishing hooks I'll figure that shit out but if I've got those two medicated those two meds I'm gonna live longer than you if they ever let me on that show called a loan which they won't but if I ever show up if you're ever on the show alone and I show up there is contestant you might as well quit right then just to let y'all know that money's mine I'm sitting there thinking you gonna gonna put me out somewhere alone and all I got to do is fucking hang out until everybody else quits and I get a half a million dollars every motherfucker air might as well just quit and save themselves the misery and I don't need all them fucking items just let me take my fucking emergency medication off all fucking I'll fuckin be I live there to the goddamn cows come home that money is mine you might as well fucking quit they'll never let me on that show though that medication I just told you about that shit will cure anything from traveler's diarrhea to a fucking respiratory infection fuckin chlamydia it'll cure fucking skin infection you cut your fucking toe wide open that's it's getting infected it'll fucking straighten that shit out too are so you think that might be overkill or irresponsible because I carry around you know my own self self medication my self treatment protocol well look if you always have access to a hospital well yeah as no need to do that if you're if you live in and you know if you live in a goddamn Atlanta Georgia you don't need to carry this shit around if you get sick you drive fucking three blocks to the damn hospital or you're really sick you call 9-1-1 the fucking ambulance scoops you up but if you do not have access to a hospital or to a doctor or know you know some type of competent medical care that fucking doxy and there's it throw max you could literally save your fucking life that's why I don't fucking go nowhere so let me give you for a fucking example all right what if you were what if you're gonna fucking island in the Philippines and typhoon blows through a small island you got a small little Hospital boom here comes a typhoon through you get caught on that island guess what's gonna happen number one the ferry service stops running when the when the sea conditions get too dangerous so days before the typhoon and you know potentially many days after the fucking typhoon the fairy ain't coming that's the lifeline there's so many small islands that's anywhere in the world if the fucking Airport the little airstrip gets flooded out ain't no motherfucking airplanes coming in there okay so guess what happens there's no fuel coming in the fuel trucks aren't coming the generators go down guess what now the water pumps don't work now when you turn on the fucking tap there ain't no fucking water now you can't flush the goddamn toilet without going out and scooping up some seawater all of a sudden your wonderful fucking one you know just great little island vacation can turn into a fucking nightmare now usually you know things get back to normal pretty quick but you know what if you're on this fucking Island typhoon rolls through the water stops working and you know within a matter of a couple days you end up you know drinking some water from you know whoever's water tank and you fucking get traveler's diarrhea where are you gonna go okay we're gonna go who's gonna fucking treat you the fucking hospital got wiped out there's no electricity what are you gonna do just fucking sit there and be miserable the Embassy is not coming to fucking rescue your ass you got to have your own fucking backup plan and for me the definitive emergency plan is to have some antibiotics on hand forget about the aspirin all the other pussy ass shit that's not helping you all right it's not gonna save you okay so when I talked about talking with your doctor back in your home country when you're out off the beaten path you don't want to be trying to find medication you don't want to be in Cebu City with no prescription looking around trying to find oxys okay get a prescription from your doctor in your home country that way when you come through immigration and customs if they question you about the tablets you have the prescription it's no problem if you fucking get sick you know that those meds are legit the doctor has prescribed it you know you're not allergic to it you be proactive just planning for the worst to happen hopefully it never does but you don't want to be reacting to shit like this that I'm talking about it's too easy to be proactive so my emergency self treatment protocol if I'm off the beaten path if I'm stranded on an island if I'm up in the mountains of Afghanistan I get sick I can't get nowhere cuz if you know the fucking weather the pass is closed is in the winter or some assholes have fucking taken over the road and we can't pass what's my treatment protocol you know before I tell you this let me back up for a minute when I said that the Embassy is not coming to save you if you're from America you remember a thing called Hurricane Katrina people needed help in a major fucking city in the US and the US government couldn't rescue those folks down there okay they're just down there fucking thinning for themselves for fucking days weeks why Herman law was so you think just because one fucking gringo is stranded somewhere that they're sending a goddamn Blackhawk to pick you up that's not happening don't rely on the fucking embassy to help you for anything that's my advice to you I think a lot of people a lot of expats a lot of world traveler still they'll back me up on that embassy ain't fucking helping your ass you got to help yourself a lot of places there ain't no motherfucking 9-1-1 okay so I have a little fucking plan in place all right again the legal cheese I'm not telling you to do this I'm telling you this is what I do take this for informational research entertainment purposes only okay I don't abuse antibiotics I fully understand the ramifications of their overuse so anybody in the comments you can spare me the fucking lecture about drug-resistant bacteria antibiotic resistance in general I already know this I don't fucking pop these things like skittles unless I have to I don't take any fucking drugs the only thing and the only drug I take fucking alcohol that's a daily drug but I don't take any pharmaceuticals unless it's the last fucking option and the definitive treatment for what I have going on okay so I'm not being irresponsible when I tell you what I do if I'm a minor problem and I had no access say I have traveler's diarrhea three four days it doesn't go away I know it's not going away it's not getting any better I usually just pop one doxy hundred milligrams per day three-four days that's all it takes it just clears the shit up I'm fine that's all that's all these and when I'm off the beaten path if something like that happens I you want to use the least amount that you need because what happens in three days if you cut your foot wide open and you really need those doxies you really know that need those antibiotics so you use everything sparingly but three four days 100 milligrams a doxy knocks out most travelers diarrhea I've ever had if I have a major problem or exposure okay for example you know I ate some food and I find out a lot of people are getting sick it's fuckin food poisoning it's gonna hit me hard or if you know I drank some severely contaminated water or the frequent traveler I caught the clap after a fucking you know a week's worth of partying and hanging out with less than reputable ladies of the night shit happens you sleep with enough women you will catch the clap I promise you you can try to be careful but at some point you're gonna catch the clap okay gonorrhea syphilis HIV all that shit is possible with the most probable thing is chlamydia now people argue all gonorrhea is called the clap well I'm not my fucking circle we'd call committee of the fucking clap and it's fucking easy to get if you sleep over now no matter what country you're in you go pull ten girls out of the club in America you're gonna catch the clap if you don't wear a condom it's that simple even if you wear a condom you might get it so if I know 100% I've been exposed and the definitive treatment is going to be antibiotics you got to bust out the big guns you got to you got to call up the fucking Z pack and fire for effects take four of them bad boys take four of the z-pak tablets now it comes in most of time it comes with six tablets you take four of those Z packs boom down the hatch wash them down with a cold beer I usually go with a Heineken or Singha why do I wash them down with a beer now you shouldn't take a whole lot of alcohol with antibiotics because it can't have them you know in effect but and beers never fucking had any beers never had caused me a problem now if you drink a bottle of vodka it may counteract the antibiotics but I wash my shit down with beer because it helps the psychological effects of whatever stupid shit I've done they put myself in that predicament I caught the clap because I got drunk and slept with some fucking crazy bitches right boom now I find myself having to pop a z-pack I'm washing it down with a beer that's my psychological it's the way I deal with it psychologically 24 hours later after taking those for initial tablets you pop the last to wash that shit down where the fucking cold beer 24 hours after that you start one doxycycline 100 milligram tablet per day and run that for 10 days after that pretty much anything that you've got from chlamydia to travelers diarrhea to you know a respiratory infection folks you were fucking cleared out now speaking of cleared out when you hit that z-pak okay say you have an infection in your fucking hand severe infection on your hand and you hit that z-pak it's going to make you shit like fucking goofs okay and I guess what it does not only does it kill the bad bacteria but it's gonna kill somebody good bacteria too and it it'll make you shit like a fucking goose just taking that medication in itself so just be ready for that ride so that's what I called Kings cure when you bust out the z-pak and then hit design the dachsies but sometimes it comes to that now I'm telling you that's my treatment regime that's what I do to my body and that's what works for me if you try that shit without consulting your doctor it may kill you I don't fucking know what it'll do to you so I'm telling you consult your doctor don't go with what dr. Google or dr. marcoh says it's your health you take it seriously you know what I just told you is for research entertainment and giving you food for thought to discuss with your licensed medical practitioner also known as your fucking doctor okay so for all my infrequent travelers or my first-time international travelers after your vacation this is what I recommend you do okay you know I'm a constant traveler I'm an expat by definition I mean I consider myself current resident of planet Earth and a citizen of nowhere that's just how I consider myself we can talk about immigration in countries and lines and you know on a map later oh I don't have a fucking home wherever I'm at that's just where I'm at people say where you from I don't even fucking know I don't I don't have a home I'm not from anywhere I currently reside on planet earth if I had a one-way ticket to Mars I'd fucking go live on living die on Mars so I'd the the by some Tolan telling you now it doesn't apply to me or expats that have been gone for years from the home country but the infrequent first time traveller this is what I recommend that you do okay as soon as you get back to your home country you know say you say you're scheduled to get back on a Tuesday you schedule your yearly physical for that Wednesday you know everybody most everybody in the West they get a yearly physical right and most everybody in the West got two weeks vacation or one week vacation whatever it is per year so why not schedule your annual physical the day after you get back from your annual fucking vacation especially if it's an international one you go in there the day after you get back and you talk to your doctor and this is the very important part and I'm going to illustrate it with a case study you're going and you talk to your doctor and this is what you say and have and have some notes don't just go in there and say yeah I'm here for my annual physical and talk about the fucking weather you go in there and say I'm here for my annual physical I just got back from ten days on the Serengeti Plain while I was there this is what happened to me okay I was petting zebras when a fucking lion turned around and blew fucking piss out of his asshole and it got all over me I was crossing a river I cut my foot and it sort of got infected and then a damn elephant sprayed water in my face from his fucking trunk oh by the way three people in my tour group got sick and had to go home early so you paint a detailed picture to your doctor as to what the fuck you've been up to on this this Safari or this adventure you went on so the doctor can start painting a picture in his head about what exactly he needs to test you for okay if you go for an annual physical they're not going to test you for fucking rabies they're not going to test you for the all these exotic different conditions that you may have encountered or you may have picked up in the country where you went to you got to paint that doctor a picture so he knows if he doesn't know he knows where to start googling her calling his buddy or whatever and then he knows what tests to order and if you're going for an annual physical maybe a lot of these extra tests will still be covered because it's your one time in your physical and the doctor fucking orders it right okay what happens if you don't communicate to your doctor exactly the way I just told you to communicate or if you go over my website the blog post is listed down in the description at the bottom of the article there's a link and I heard about this before from my buddy Dennis Dennis told me he say hey man you hear about that girl she was from I think there's Norway she came over to the Philippines found a little puppy she was playing with the puppy puppy puppy was nibbling on her fingers she went back to her home country and fucking died of rabies like several weeks later I was like no I didn't hear about that it's horrible you know terrible so I pulled that article up and and I I wanted to include that case study to ram home the point reiterate the point that if you have health insurance you have access to fucking Western standard medical care exercise that shit the day you get back from your vacation from developing nations and I hate that fucking term but I'll throw it out there because everybody understands it or that fucking trip through the Serengeti plane or wherever exercise your Western standard of medical care exercise that insurance card the day after you get back and paint your doctor a picture because in this young lady's case from what I understand she went back home to Norway and folks I don't have no idea what I'm talking about this may be total bullshit but it doesn't matter because even if I just put this scenario out there it's gonna invoke thought so if I'm way off just correct me down in the comments for others to learn by but she went back home she got sick she went to the doctor or the hospital they couldn't figure out what was going on at some point she was hospitalized and they finally figured out she had rabies and it was too late she died now for me what and I don't know everything but if that is true okay we certainly have a lack of communication between her and her doctor and the initial phases of this because the doctor wasn't saying hey what do you been doing he wasn't playing medical detective because if he had she might have said yeah well I got bit by this puppy or the Philippines boom rabies somehow or another the docs weren't connected and this young lady didn't live through through the incident so RiRi read her story utilize your insurance that you pay a lot of money every month for the premiums communicate with your doctor about where you were what you were doing don't lie if you fucked you know three hookers in the ass without a condom tell your doctor if you can't trust your doctor who the fuck can you trust right just confide in him and her about what you've been doing and then let them you know figure out what they want to test you for and how they want to treat you and maybe they want to do something just just to be sure you know but then how you know my heart goes out to the young lady but without trying I'm not trying to be insensitive but if you come to countries like South East Asia regions like Southeast Asia or Central America and you start petting stray dogs and cats you're wrong if a stray dog or cat scratches or bites you you need to go straight to the fucking hospital and start the rabies protocol now here in the Philippines I haven't seen many vets many veterinary clinics in Thailand they're fucking everywhere because it's you know people are buying more expensive dogs are taking their dogs to the vet however in Thailand there's fucking soy dogs stray dogs everywhere those dogs haven't received any vaccinations if you see a stray dog here in the Philippines it has never been vaccinated for anything all of my friends who have dogs I don't know the first person that's taking their dog to the fucking bit I just I don't and I'm not saying they don't I'm telling you my friends I would be hard-pressed to find one of my friends who have taken their dog to the bit so if you see a goddamn stray dog on the side of the road like this young lady did leave that motherfucker be yeah he's cute yes my heart goes out to him the chances of him having real babies are are fuckin pretty good how much is your life worth now it's one of those things where you know this young lady just didn't really realize that she wasn't in Norway anymore and if you come over here and you realize and you think you're still in Kansas you're in the wrong mindset it's just it's a it's a it's a different environment the same applies I mean like go to Guatemala and show me a fucking dog catcher I never saw any good go the backwoods of Guatemala and show me a veterinary clinic okay you see any fucking stray dogs any stray animals leave them the fuck alone all right don't try to play mother Teresa you get bit there's a good chance you've been exposed to rabies alright so any reader story fuckin heart goes out to her and my heart breaks over that but there were some definite lack of common sense exercised on her part I think there was a lack of communication between her and the doctors back in Norway only based on my limited reading and I think there was a lack of inquisitiveness about what she had been up to by the medical staff and again you know what I may know nothing about the fuck I don't know anything about the case let me just say that so what I just described let's just say that's a theoretical scenario there you go I don't know the whole fucking story so I I just described a theoretical scenario with the lesson being don't be fucking around with stray dogs and cats when you leave the West got them you wouldn't fuck up stray dogs and cats and most places in America you call the fucking dog catcher and the guy comes and gets him right folks in closing there's some we we started talking about traveler's diarrhea I kind of got off topic there's some nasty shit out there in the world that will fuck you up right the probability is you will just catch something that I've discussed in this video and it's gonna ruin your fucking vacation in spider wanted me to reiterate to you that that's what it's about it's about money you're gonna spend money on a plane ticket you've got hotels booked you've got plans you fuck around and get this shit it's just gonna ruin your vacation you're gonna lose a few thousand dollars okay if you're watching this and you're fucked up in a hotel room somewhere down in Mexico get over to the hospital don't fuck around you can't assume it's simply traveler's diarrhea you may be you may be having an acute appendicitis your appendix appendix has burst and your fucking bad shape so any health situation don't trust dr. Google don't trust fucking dr. Marcos go to the fucking nearest hospital tell them what's going on and let them make the fucking decision you think you have traveler's diarrhea but your appendix has burst and now you know fucking a few days later you're you're laying there dead popping the fucking dachsies that's not the message here okay this video is for what research to invoke thought and also for a little bit entertainment so get over to the hospital and be honest with the docs over there tell them what's been going on and again Spyder said hey if you get this shit it's just gonna it's gonna ruin your fucking vacation so if you've got a story folks that's that's what I had the loan story about travelers diarrhea what I've got to say about it I didn't even tell the story about the time I couldn't leave a Porter shitter in Kabul and I actually ate at a higher-end restaurant in Kabul I mean it was a local restaurant but a hiring that's what did me in it wasn't any of the street food I ate out in the in the boondocks it was a restaurant in Kabul and it was a higher-end restaurant gave me a case of the shit's damn porter shitter I just every time I tried to leave I couldn't leave and I ran out of the little bit of toilet paper I had to end up wiping my ass with with a sock one sock I tried to leave again sprint back to the porter shitter I had to wipe my ass with that other side by that – my buddy had already left I had to fucking walk way back down this hill back down over there to the embassy area and damn I was wearing these fucking shoes and by the time I got down there I have blisters all over my damn feet because I had them damn socks are at the bottom of that fucking Porter shitter anyhow it's a long story short so folks in the comments if you have anything to add or anything to correct please leave it down there in the comments I know there'll be some funny shit down there but leave some serious comments as well because I do get this question asked a lot you know you know you know about getting sick about the water can you brush your teeth I mean people are concerns you've never been somewhere it's the unknown you know it's human nature to be afraid of the unknown especially when it comes to your health so all my expats living here in Southeast Asia please weigh in about what you do what you don't do your experiences my first time travelers if you got some questions leave them down there and hopefully something some of my subscribers will respond and and you know and weigh in on on your questions folks I want to thank you for joining me I think I have talked so long that my voice is about to go I filled up one memory card on the first part of this video and I think this was about to get filled up who the hell knew that there was so much to talk about about fucking travelers diarrhea like I said go to a lot of these videos are like 45 seconds long I don't know so I hope you learned something out by leasing folks bought show your doctor this video see what he has to say about it if you're not a subscriber folks bottom right-hand corner of your screen right there there's this little white over state road sign what that is is a subscribe button so if you're not a subscriber you click that and shit I don't know what happens after that you click it maybe it says subscribe again you click it again whatever click click that damn button and become a subscriber food beer and visas here on my channel bad behavior drunkenness a lot of drinking everything in between and I do videos on whatever the fuck I want to put out here this isn't a niche channel so if you come here just looking for shit about the Philippines the Philippines just happens to be where I'm at and where I've been spending a lot of time I don't have a niche here I do whatever the hell I want but I'd love to have you on the channel nothing scripted this is kind of a calm video about a serious subject but the next one who knows it might be about me making a fucking grilled cheese sandwich or grilling some shrimp or I might be drunk over at the local strip club shit that reminds me I missed a sob night excuse me for a minute folks hello hey how are you you get your coming assuming that's it gets here at 11:30 it's leaving at 11:30 okay all right no problem just just call me when you get close to a longer Pole okay all right make sure yeah make sure you just call me when you get to the longer pull okay okay are it's no problem okay all right bye bye hi damn that's my daughter's mother she's on the way to pick up my daughter we got an agreement you know spends half the time with me half the time were her we've had some hiccups along the way but that's fair I mean how can you get any fairer than that you know if I was in the West no way no but with no way anybody in the West and America at least in my country in the u.s. gets their kids fifty percent of time that's a whole another topic but I'm gonna go ahead and conclude this spend the last few minutes I can with my daughter and I want to thank everybody for joining me on this video I'll see you guys on the next adventure the next video the next line stream peace out my friends have a good night wherever you're at in the world [Applause]